tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74751741876123085042024-02-20T09:45:19.939-08:00Virtus VirtualisAn Exiled Youtube Orphan, enjoying the view from inside out...AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-43411602293187734112009-11-14T08:52:00.000-08:002009-11-14T09:00:30.324-08:00cursed curser!!ok I have a computer which has all the latest and then some of graphics that make second life look awesome fantastic, but then I suddenly got this massive problem, at first it was a time problem from fooling around with youtube massive amounts.. and sorting through my silly written words.<br />Now I am cursed, my curser within second life has become invisible, its like I can not do a single thing when I want to because something gets messed up. I left it, but the massive amounts of things are still building up, and people I know sent me stuff, group invites which I wanted to be a part of ect.<br />Pulling hairs out now, I quickly realize, going bald won't help me, however it will give me a different look. This may take some time, and I haven't got the time to be charged for a premium account if I can not transfer the little petty cash I made directly back into second life.. I wonder if I should or not since I've had problems.<br />My first conflict was the fact that people are suing SL and SL is pretending that it has no obligation to some people who's matterial gets ripped. Then there is the time, but without a curser, my time wouldn't even be spent chatting, because I can't even answer the chat!!<br /><br />I was slightly impressed with an offical response to the third party viewer question, but then I got a survay in the e post and wondered what the hell were they thinking of.. concering the whole xsl market suck... yeah, I don't know what to do. It would help if I could get things working for one. But this whole BS has just made me less likely to take precious time to fix it, and I would rather fix my xtranormal.com stuff instead.AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-81302464933626309462009-10-01T23:44:00.000-07:002009-10-02T00:05:28.165-07:00A sudden feeling..Today I am hit with the sudden feeling of clarity as if the answer for me is to look over some of my projects and create a full avatar (with my own clothing and attachments (no hair but hair tattoo)) and start people off with something like this.<br /><br />I want to celibrate my "one year" in this buisness by creating a group and giving a group gift as well, but sometimes time is a problem and the contraints can make my humble goals, even more ambitious than I would like them to be. However I have laid out the groundwork in bits and bobs so I only have to "sew it up" to make all the parts make perfect sense.<br /><br />I need to create a MALE avatar though, I have some wonderful shapes but I want to make a skin that really doesn't look too much like a "pretty boy" and this is just my problem, its really easy to make a pretty boy, but to make a distinctive and endearing skin, like that of Escos who I hold to the greatest most expressive male faces I have seen on the grid.<br /><br />I desire to give that kind of life and art to a face of a man, as human men (and women) have "soul" which is expressed via the face..now maybe women often wear make up and hide or exagerate much of the expressiveness, the typical male face does not have this mask, thus I definately feel strongly that any typical non-boyish, non-metro looking male face MUST have that element of truth within its capacity..<br /><br />no more no less.<br /><br />I don't go for ideals, the ideals of Kens and Barbies are for those who do not strive for a real art but rather a reflection of the doll. Not a reflection of the humanity, and I wish to mearly reflect the complexity of humanity, but feel very critical about my capacity to do skin in the way I feel is most beautiful, although as I have stated, I have laid much ground work and have many files which I may just start ditching due to a new idea flying into my head.. as I have gotten better with photo layers on top of these wonderful skin layers by Eloh Eliot so I'm going to do that..<br /><br />I know my capacity, its there, its just that the element of time is never on my side, even with so much so called "free time" there are always things to do, as I look out on the garden.<br /><br />Here I am on day 16, still this hard arse redness does not seem to want to go away, I have this strange feeling of worms in the throat, as if I may have some strange parasites that wish to come UP and out, if only this feeling would leave! Can parasites live in the throat? or even climb up from the stomach instead of go out the other way? Who can say? I just don't want to be the home to such things.. even if they be fake and psychotic images created by my mind to make sense of the sensations.. best that it goes away!<br /><br />this is all for the moment.. I may have something more later on.AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-41347123316618889912009-09-18T00:10:00.001-07:002009-09-18T03:38:34.376-07:00The irony of "shop yourself happy"Opening the news paper this very morning, I find on page 9 of the kultur section, it was an answer to a psychologist explaining why you can not "shop yourself happy" and that one does not become happier by shoping, and that you can not actually measure the actual self-esteme in how many pairs of boots one has.. <br /><br />The point in the post was that the pyschologist was liking the entire fashion world to victims of some mental illness..mostly related to shopping to make one's self happy.<br /><br />And yet I have to wonder, who can actually measure a really marked and honest self evaluation of happiness through the amount of things you have or have shopped for?<br /><br />No one I know, and although I have seen people happy over their purchases, I have to be honest with you, its not that that makes people happy, its probably the fact that they for a moment were dazzled with the quality or the luxury of the item, the design the aquiring of a well made thing.. but is that real and geniune happiness?<br /><br />Its a certain amount of pride but you can have pride in any kind of feeling, like today I have pride in the fact that I don't feel bad.. that has got to be a good thing, right? Especially since I was puking all night yesterday! I don't even know why.. but for some reason I feel great today..weird.<br /><br />Oh and if its about the beauty factors that comes with some kind of fact that when I flew off my moped head first and landed on my face that it only scratched my teeth on the pavement.. it was the chance of actually being perminatly scared for life or not.. to have knocked out a tooth for example in the front, isn't really a "beauty trait" on most women.. I mean I've only seen at one point in time ONE woman with a chipped tooth as a beauty queen and that was miss Scotland, 1979.<br /><br />So lets see, avatar beauty contests... right, the beautiful object I create, dress in beautiful objects created by me or others and the combination I put them in, a concentraited version of the RL fashion industry from the artistic to the pure capitalistic...(the kind you have a choice or those who believe there is no other choice if you wish to show your good taste)<br /><br />There are of course the lower ends of this, the Barbies and Kens, or the escape from the human form all together.. with the explaination, "we don't need to wear clothes or try on new skins, we are creatures.." but what about something in the middle.. something neither right nor left nor up nor down, but something that says, "this is what I like myself, this is what I like to feel comfortable..mentally"<br /><br />So with some of my shapes I started off with, I hypothisise what if I were... "taller", what if I were "fatter" what if I were "thinner" what if I had eyes like this?<br /><br />What if I were dark skinned, what if I were a ghost, and what if I were me...?<br /><br />What if I were younger, what if I were older, what if I were the same age I am only had more to spend on a wardrobe?<br /><br />What if I were a boy? What if I were a vampire? What if I were a goldfish.. or a dragonfly or a bowl of soup?<br /><br />ahhhhhhaaah.. as long as these things had good eyes, I don't care!!!<br /><br />I see a picture of Ingmar Bergman in the newspaper.. it must be a sign of the coming coffee shortage apocolipse..<br /><br />I think I have some other silly things to do now..sorry about this, I know I've really got to draw the line somewhere aside from making random posts.. you know? I think I will wait until next week to start my group, so no one steal the name, ok?AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-21780657142835636332009-09-16T14:13:00.000-07:002009-09-16T14:55:21.350-07:00Forget money.. its an illusion, give us stuff we can use!How is that for a protest? No but seriously, I guess I can see the idea of what people know about me and my attempts to try to use different systems to deal with lacking of things..<br /><br />I mean its often as if money is some magical thing, it makes all problems go away, doors open and leaves the rent paid and the heat and telephone on for yet another month. I've not got problems with that aspect, but why does this end up being the end goal when I'm supposed to be happy? Tell me how this differs from a Soviet styled Golag when we are working ourselves silly trying to be happy and can't even buy back the time that is supposed to be our collective "God Given Rights" as supposedly free people.<br /><br />When is my time my own if I am a part of a system that encourages me to undersell my own potential to be gainfully employed? I do not want to go around sueing people to get what I need either.. sometime I wonder, some people have often said that they owe me.. well if they owed me so much then damnit, pay me the fuck back! But then or should I just pass it on to the other person who says I owe them.. or perhaps person A should in turn meet once again with person B. They can talk about me behind my back and leave me out of it.. and have a wonderful time.<br /><br />Ah this Mercury retrograde, killing me, with the Equanox coming in a few days and tomorrow being the new moon at about 10 pm or so, I have to hurry up and make my plans for starting my longer fast, it seems I didn't get rid of the stuff I needed to get rid of.. so I have to restart. If it takes less time then it will be less time, but I know now, that I needed more than 10 days, and I may have needed 20 days to clear up my skin, because it was totally clear after the 6th day, however now its back, its like I can't win..<br /><br />Its not allergies either.. its down to this bacteria that I don't even know about, that maybe everyone has, but it just causes problems for me and maybe other people.. so all the antibiotic treatments, did nothing but sedate it for a few weeks.. then the same thing again, but it is true that I could have been on 40 days antibiotics and still get the same effect of 10 days of fast without the problems of the antibiotics such as the intestinal distress and the nausia not to mention other side effect such as the impartial forming of blood cells producing anemia.. nice one to leave alone.. and then extreme sun senstivity.. yeah. This year, antibiotics free, prize, I didn't have problems with the sun, and even though I sunburned it only recently pealed off.. not bad, I was commended by the mother in law for the "healthy look" :P Two edged sword pharmaciticals, another problem is and how it relates to Second life is that so many people are "virtually ill"<br /><br />I don't wish to point out everyone as some kind of victim in a larger scheme of things but when mentioned about not trusting in big Pharma, the ideas underlying that are not "the Americans pay through the nose so you don't" when if a drug is approved here, it goes through a completely different system of judgement but it still notices what they do in America. Another thing is, in America doctors can deal directly and get sold directly for ever prescription they write and pharmacological companies not only pay for adverts in magazines read by doctors, but also meet up with them to show them their new drugs. There are sales representitives from these companies that my country will not see because this is not the way they approve a drug for usage where as, it seems that the American market pretty much makes a drug sells it to the doctors and possibly markets to the patients.. with "Ask your doctor is bla bla bla is right for you?"..<br /><br />I not see my need for any pharmasutical become based upon the demand of other people for a fictional illness that someone else may claim I have.<br /><br />Now days I see that they have come back to the idea that some things are not psychosymatic illness such as ME. There are actually treatments for it, and it is drugs and missusage of antibiotics which seems to be the common thread and yet when I looked up ME, in English on a US based site, I read something about depression and antidepressents.<br /><br />Its like this foolishness of treating stomach ulcers with pain killers and librium and some antacids and avoid spicy foods.. Now you know it is caused by a nasty little bacteria, one thing that can kill it is enzimes in unpasterised honey.. of all things. which is kind of weird and cool, but mostly its treated with a series of antibiotics which is much better than having someone saying, its all in your head, you are not sick you just need antidepressants.<br /><br />Sad thing was, when they start treating a girl with TB using antidepressants, that is depressing, makes me want to swallow a whole bottle of anything that makes me ignore the stupidity of some doctors. Its like if you see all illness as infection or as depression, thats what you will experience. I'm going to have to make a few leaps of faith in the coming weeks as I have just recently done. I know that there are probably lots of people who have the ablity to cure themselves but medicines are just holding them back, sort of like crutchs on a perfectly able to walk person, if you are left in crutches when you can walk, it impairs your ablity to walk, and deforms you.<br /><br />I am sick of life giving people the only thing money can't buy, as JCC said, "poverty" poverty of lack of health and poverty of believing you are poor because you don't have money, thus some people need to get over their addiction.. perhaps myself, having come to the point where now I am buying stuff again.. yes I do buy stuff. But I spent a whole 8 months as a non-consumer nothing new, not nessisary either.. nothing unless it was nessisary unless it was food or something for my son, where as this is how things work, nothing for me save for the proper parisables.<br /><br />I have to go to the health food shop, perhaps have a look for my son's "shitake mushroom pate" he loves that on his breakfast toast.. maybe some milk thistle extract and some kind of tea ect.. toothpaste without strong taste, not just for me but for my son. ect.. bla bla bla.. I say I'm going out, but my plans get rewritten on a daily basis. Today I wasn't even told by the school what time my son was going to be home. I had to wait and then he wanted to watch youtube videos with washing machines..<br /><br />I really enjoyed this one:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEj5y7YwsWM">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEj5y7YwsWM</a><br /><br />We were both laughing our arses off..It was a good thing.<br />Must sleep got to go shopping with my son and mother in law at 10am.. tomorrow.. but at least they gave me the night off. :DAstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-69137898674517899232009-09-16T05:13:00.001-07:002009-09-16T05:14:17.687-07:00freak!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyGBu4lgbsuvgJuEsWDvze3JTRNuD_sY3hVQf5nGy-DtvRSaycDwDlFe17KwG1vtV7T3f-1-SjBt4vPf2YWyjrTuv83Aw1WyXY7S8jAJfflL8No3hxv0rDehbilFqYukhvUGxpP25IMSg/s1600-h/colourizedrefraction_016.png"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382037421165130546" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 399px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyGBu4lgbsuvgJuEsWDvze3JTRNuD_sY3hVQf5nGy-DtvRSaycDwDlFe17KwG1vtV7T3f-1-SjBt4vPf2YWyjrTuv83Aw1WyXY7S8jAJfflL8No3hxv0rDehbilFqYukhvUGxpP25IMSg/s400/colourizedrefraction_016.png" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-15303019763488047022009-09-15T14:13:00.000-07:002009-09-15T14:30:34.642-07:00Yes?Was that you knocking on my door? Its almost midnight as far as I am concerned and I really don't want to get up and answer the door, nor do I to log in but something compells me..<br /><br />could it be that those freebies are looking awefully good at this point in time, until I investigate those posts farther and realize I already beat them to the prize only last Friday.. I know, I know, naughty me, I'm not supposed to try new things and buy things that I want.. I'm only supposed to shop, no demos and no wearable demos, um right? After all that would be so totally anti-capitalistic of me if I were to hold on to my ill gotten undercut market gem's moneys and not spend a cent on some expensive gear, and don't even save up to create those massive amounts of textures stored up on the computer because that doesn't cut it..<br /><br />Going out to the test grid, loading up a texture and seeing how it looks, well I just found out, its cheating of all things!! Who would ever want to make certain that they never waste lindens? Obviously a cheap bastard like myself!! And am I fit to walk in the shadow of the micro ecconomy?<br /><br />Some have confronted me and said flat out that I had no buisness sence and yet, I still have my initial investment continuing to pay me back, that can't be bad, and yet I was told, on no uncertain terms how ignorant of the capitalist system I am..<br /><br />Well I think I have mentioned it once before, what or which "capitalist" system are you addressing when you are dealing with a very closed market, a market of the masses eliminating competition.. the struggle between an entire "Asia" to my "Zimbabwae"... I am pushing a bicycle up the hill, and its been fun.. but do I want to risk riding it especially when I know that risking more will only mean I am going to put myself out of the game. This is the risk one takes.. I guess.<br /><br />I live in a RL closed system, although I do and have done sparse projects and actually published images, as a freelancer in a strange field, the area of fine arts, I find that if only I could find an employer who would dare employ me outside of the artist union system, that I may actually substain a two year's under a service as an artist. Then I could actually be open to all the jobs after that short time within my area, because then AFK would allow me to have access to their jobs. Ah but that's just it, then there is this other sticky problem, my son, my traveling husband, and the idea of having to maintain this home. I'm probably even still "sjukskriven" even if I am starting to get better.. as I have not taken any money for my infirmities, it also leads me to being in a no man's land.. a world where nothing I do can be done if it can't be done within a short bit of time, and if it can not be done within certain hours of the day.<br /><br />With that in mind, I will remove the lenses and start dreaming.. long day tomorrow, and this long day requires me to get some things IRL tied up. I may even attempt to ride my bicycle..AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-9183001767719422292009-09-15T01:05:00.000-07:002009-09-15T01:06:53.841-07:00Updated.. for personal reasons I guess...sooner or later some of the people I linked to are going to either phrase my great taste or curse me for putting them "out there" I am still looking for Ann Otoole's blog link in my huge pile of blogs.. plus I'm just going around adding the things I like to read.AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-39246895748735840812009-09-01T04:18:00.000-07:002009-09-01T04:26:35.165-07:00Been a while..Yeah I thought I changed all my info and forgot what I thought I changed it to, right, well to make a long story short, it didn't happen, the old pass word was still in effect and the old epost as well.. (geeze I bet its getting full from not looking at it for litterally YEARS!)<br /><br />SL is still urging me to take it seriously in spite of some stupid changes of format that LL had to embark upon as well as some hidden agenda changes to the TOS.<br /><br />Life so far.. personally, well, I'm still alive and healthy after 9 days of fasting, (it IS Tuesday, um, right?) Tomorrow will be the last day.. and I am learning something about the universe.<br /><br />Zen masters say "do not search for the truth, but search for your options.." interesting.. perhaps I should take that into account when I look at Second Life policies.<br /><br />I ditched the extra land for a song.. (I can't abandon it to Governer Linden, it would never reach the market as I would like it to in a short amount of time.. I would rather almost give away such lands, and wish that others would do the same, seriously)<br /><br />Bad neighbours, I have had a few, but I've as far as I know, have been a good one, if not an annoying one.. still I keep to myself, build my crap in the sandbox, and show off my skills to overshadow the abandoned garbage prims hanging in the air above..<br /><br />interesting developments, things are getting even more heated up within SL's blogsphere (a new word I keep using).<br /><br />My son needs to do his homework so I must leave this behind for postarity and perhaps post again one day in the future.AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-34232975438711301982009-03-24T13:00:00.000-07:002009-03-24T13:02:00.335-07:00Typical.. just when I thought it was safe to think out loud!<em>Valid during many months: This can be an extremely confusing time, because new information and data may come at you very rapidly. It may be very difficult to make intelligent decisions on most matters. If you have to make a decision, but your attitude toward the matter is not calm and cool, try to put it aside until your feelings are sorted out. This may be more difficult than it looks, because often under this influence people are tempted to make rash, impulsive decisions. Business transactions are also difficult now because of this tendency. However it is possible to handle transactions in scientific or technological fields, especially electronics. These fit the symbolism of this influence and may not be so difficult. But even under the best of circumstances, be careful! <br /><br />A negative effect of this energy can be that you will feel extremely nervous and tense, because of the fast tempo of events. <br /><br />Traveling during this time may be quite disruptive. No matter how carefully you make your plans, your trip will not work out as planned, and you may be forced to travel at the most inconvenient times. <br /><br />One important psychological manifestation of this influence is that your ideas and opinions are likely to be strongly challenged by others. Your beliefs may very well be right, but the universe will force you to examine them so that you know for certain whether they are. You may be attracted to radically different ways of thinking, which can also provoke opposition from others at this time. This will affect your professional life in particular. If you express your opinions strongly in any area, be sure that you are in a position to defend them. But even if you are right, avoid stating your position dogmatically. Try to understand others' points of view, for you may learn from them. <br /> <br />The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:<br />Uranus Square Mercury, , exact at 07:02 <br />activity period from end of May 2008 until beginning of February 2010 </em><br /><br />http://www.astro.com/AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-62607262466021047722009-03-12T11:04:00.000-07:002009-03-12T11:09:09.891-07:00Horoscope... odd that!<em><strong>"Half-cocked</strong>
<br />Today your attention will be focused on your work, profession or important social duties that you must exercise. You have an opportunity to plan for the future in these areas of your life, and you will discuss with others your proper course of action. On the psychological level, this is a good time for being alone to reflect upon your long-range plans and how well you are fulfilling them. </em>
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<br /><em>The Midheaven is strongly connected with the ego structure, and Mercury transiting it may indicate that you are dwelling upon your basic ego needs. This is especially important if by nature you are a meditative person, who wants to plan everything out before acting. A more extroverted person will go right out and talk to the world, even though that may mean going off half-cocked. </em>
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<br />The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:Mercury Conjunction Med.Coeli, , exact at 04:36 </em><a onclick="hwin_open(400,400); return true;" href="http://www.astro.com/cgi/h.cgi?f=hhk;lang=e;h=hk2;cid=uanfileDaGbLh-u1088621448" target="help"></a><em>activity period from 10 March 2009 to 11 March 2009...."</em>
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<br /><em><a href="http://www.astro.com/horoscope">http://www.astro.com/horoscope</a></em>
<br />AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-6890065010043844062009-03-07T15:44:00.000-08:002009-03-07T16:13:10.249-08:00Challanging myself to work..got the flu.. coming down with it and inspite of it all.. must work on this and get it finished. It was a goal I had set for myself since it was something within my grasp and competance to do. THE EYES!!!!<a href="http://graphofullstop.wordpress.com/grapho/natural-things-version-01/"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5310598532309479042" style="WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdtdcUpVX_2LcwhYladGn5VZCfTI_hn4ul5KGlFxSocVa4R8nbjoYHWVbbRojJuEAb9NplzpeSWVQwA1oqglb0yGIN4KoCoRm49mVQYzf4b60Mx-uUhqM7u9s7idXYQ5TMywajOBKouso/s400/tribal+eye+collection_029.png" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />So far Alpha's Tribe has created some very unique and artistic skins.. but then the avatar can be art. I took some captures and some of the skins needed to show more of the detail of the body, and although at first I tried to cover up the breast area, it was like covering up the Venus DeMilo, you just can't.. its not natural to cover.. although I AVOIDED that are for the most part.<br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="left"><a href="http://graphofullstop.wordpress.com/furry/orka/"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5310598542414475138" style="WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 286px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5gBQ3AXLUhv3OaJrcVlOmx_YfZFQcakj1aBKtAdzibqu4elSybLaYYfeuf4mDMVIvnspm2JdhW8iF1ei-FfXgcogQqsaI91NQRFZzgrG9Wz9LFUQyqi87ItEi8Sc5UB3W_TnD7-wQPlQ/s400/orka+ice+princess_036.png" border="0" /></a></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="right"></div><div align="left">The OrKa skin was very interesting and naked but even though quite "bottomless", it still was "artistic" and I don't feel as though I have been "exhibiting" the avatar body in a way that was sexual, although these skins have a definate "sexuality" to them... its just totally face to face with the unique, things which may or may not appeal to some people sexually, but extremely appealing design wise and intellectually.. </div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">I find them very much in tuned with "Pluto". This is strong but also for some a rather intimidating expression...much like the OrKa, a mermaid, a siren and an ancient Egyptian God all in one.. (Anubis)..so the eyes I used for this skin were very intense..and even though they go very well with my "<a href="http://www.apez.biz/modules.php?name=Shop&op=product&id=149660">Silver colourZ V2</a>" collection they still have their own custom colours I created for them.</div>AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-36009002475370450872009-01-03T16:23:00.001-08:002009-01-03T16:33:02.072-08:00If you have any of the following symptoms...*Are you constantly feeling superior to others?<br />*Is everyone else who disagrees with you an idiot?<br />*Do you ever feel that about 99% of the population of the world should be exterminated or just shouldn't exist at all?<br />*Do you imagine you are the only one who understands these great conspiracies of "commies" taking over all of the internet, and hate how they give away the shop while you are struggling to make ends meet?<br />*Do you beg for tips on your blogg?<br />*Do you beg for tips on your virtual land?<br />*Do you believe that most people are not the gender they say they are when you are venturing into virtual worlds and bloggs?<br />*Do you believe you have the right to have self righteous hate of everything because due to your superiority, you are absolutely correct and people shouldn't argue with it because it just "idiotic" to do so, and don't even provide FACTS to your belief systems because if it was something you thought of, it is thus "The God's Holy Truth, ahmen.."<br /><br />If you have one or many of the following symptoms, I am afraid its too late for you, but not for everyone else around you, please do help THEM to get help, because as I repeat, it is too late for you, you will always be a miserable bag of bones... or sack of sH*Ö*t!!AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-68175426563486316642009-01-02T00:41:00.000-08:002009-01-02T01:07:17.044-08:00If your interactions cause you problems.As a person who has no time for spell check, as a person who has little time for my own uploads to my shop and stuff, as a person who has little time for socializing, ringing home or writing to my friends, I certainly do too much of it..<br />--------------------------<br /><br />I have jumped to a conclusion that there is a "syndrome" of the internet, and yes it has the power to empower or the power to make people out as some kind of impersonal road rager.<br /><br />I'm not talking about people who have a legitamate critique of things, and although it is not for me to judge who exactly has a "legitamate complaint" I do find that there is a certain line people shouldn't cross unless within the area of parody.<br /><br />I don't believe that these "flame wars" which have ties to certain controversial fictional figures of Second Life are exactly "random" and the Leaving of Feo from Freebie Telegram and the possible closing of the blogg is just an example how these wars spread from blogg to blogg.<br /><br />One post dealing with a shape and its reporting of it considered "controversial" when it's language was NEUTRAL turned into a flamewar. It was a "controversial shape" it was a larger shape, but not a shape which made parody to a larger figure. It was reported to have been "larger but not ugly" which was in my honest opinion, an accurate statement.<br /><br />I find it interesting that someone who was feeling some kind of pressure decided to also take a new stance as "activist" for the overweight, This was on a completely different blogg but then the activity on these bloggs was to happen at a coincidental time, as if there was a thought bouncing around in the atmosphere to create tension, especially over the holidays when I suspect MOST people have grown senstive on the issue of weight gain IRL.<br /><br />The bottom line is there were allot of bloggs that seem to inadvertantly touch upon the idea of body image IRL, gender projection, and even a "verification of sex".<br /><br />These are naturally sensitive issues to blogg about. It seems to me that the main component of the multitude of postings was really looking, searching out controverial stances and then decided to "attack" feeling "attacked" her/him self... although with the bloggs in question, the person in question who felt the need to go on a troll mission, is possible doing this for the sake of how many google hits, he or she gets. To validate this, the next post of the recent days has been an ironic rage against Wiki, something that, he/she quotes quite often, as much as a Christian of great faith would quote the bible.<br /><br />But Wiki and the system of it is evil and useless.. but not for hits if you want to tag your content and get google hits on your blogg. I guess I could do that too... but I realized that putting google ads up on my first blogg was a huge freaking mistake, because, A, it causes problems with loading time, B, I don't care, honestly, C, it was like begging for money, D, there was NO money to be made with it, E, possibly because I don't really wish to blogg to appeal to a larger audiance but rather to structure and repeat my thoughts out loud.<br /><br />I am a boring blogger... I am long winded and twist and turn to the thoughts of my own communication style, this style coming from the structure of my brain, a brain which has its language coming from the right side, communicated to the left to speak it. A typical hemospheric style of that of someone who has Synestisia, I had best stick to painting as a form of language like, Kandinsky ;) *warning the presence of the name of a Russian painter is certain to get me the "respect" of someone who calls everyone FIC or "telecommunist"*<br /><br />Nevermind for now what the train of thought was, I have no time for it.AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-545699356012679542008-12-19T07:18:00.000-08:002008-12-19T08:06:45.183-08:00the closed SL beta test grid..<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIkZMuvliGc6iAlHap8ip37aeonB8yw5jE4VFnuLvzIfSN3zmpMrhPtXxspr6T0AhL5z80FWwWOpTPguei-8ibbMJGWg2iYy8Cy0ZfBHt2HO3VcHDA7aKA-L5-GP2b2oculKqbGPlGWsY/s1600-h/designideas_001.png"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281532827739478450" style="WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 283px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIkZMuvliGc6iAlHap8ip37aeonB8yw5jE4VFnuLvzIfSN3zmpMrhPtXxspr6T0AhL5z80FWwWOpTPguei-8ibbMJGWg2iYy8Cy0ZfBHt2HO3VcHDA7aKA-L5-GP2b2oculKqbGPlGWsY/s400/designideas_001.png" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7JC9AwWGHspuU_RWL3kgZtQWdzfX4Fc6BhWPxSaLRchU_wYSw0skhAOAuQwLh7iOfvB5spzhPw8WOJ8tEqdxygGadRW7CAt9pRU0sUlp6in7c08GNGyi1BKRRQ7yvV9wKD-JWc0ZsAvw/s1600-h/designideas_005.png"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281532438694937458" style="WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 283px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7JC9AwWGHspuU_RWL3kgZtQWdzfX4Fc6BhWPxSaLRchU_wYSw0skhAOAuQwLh7iOfvB5spzhPw8WOJ8tEqdxygGadRW7CAt9pRU0sUlp6in7c08GNGyi1BKRRQ7yvV9wKD-JWc0ZsAvw/s400/designideas_005.png" border="0" /></a> </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I'm trying to see what I could do within the contexts of building, and using some of my ideas of my dreams about a house... a house that was not square nor was it round but rather octoganal or hexagonal shape, using a central pillar or an innerwall centrum style, either with the entrance of this style of room closer to the outer wall as oposed to the middle.</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>Then I just created a closed sectional system of round entrance to the center of the wall. It changes the shape of the smaller rooms when you do that, and both options gives a feeling of sheltered space but unlike a conventional box style, its division creates angular walls but more like a section of a four sided shape.. which in the aplication IRL could be more easily seen as practial given the style of most of our furnishings require a flat wall, square controled systems. A kitchen within such a shape would be really interesting.</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>I still was thinking like this, the centum of the house should have a multi sided fire place, thus, you have your kitchen warmth, thermodynamicly warming the house from the center at the same time you cook your food (just thinking IRL practical designs that I have been turning over in my head). Farfar's house designs, of the cabins up north also have the fireplaces somewhat more or less off center, and they are connected to the old iron stoves.. very practical, but Farfar knows he's brilliant, I think his oversight is where the proportions of the room meets the furnishing of the rooms, its as if that was never a part of the equasion. So where you end up sleeping and putting your stuff and where you sit is all either left up in the air or as is, how it was before he added on the improvments. And believe me, its kind of sad to see and know that someone who can design something with the most practical things in mind.. and then sabatage his own style..</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>My dream seemed to be inspired by the Mongolian tents, the shapes and sectional style they have.. and I confess that the Mongolian tent is rather charming.. if and only if it wasn't made animal hides, even the lovely thick rugs woven during the years.</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>But this dream is now several years old, an idea finally nicely sketched in a more "solid" form. Finally. </div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>Hope I have more time for this, because I have more stuff in the old thinking machine.. </div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>ideas as such: REDUX the silver box, new eyes in it, as well as old ones, same price, AND (secret prize in them too).. but this will be a promotional idea for the new box image ect. And then JADEZ COLOURZ has many new babies.. the price will be the SAME but there will be new additional eyes in the box and a new box... if you happened to have bought the old boxes and buy the new boxes, and<em> know </em>or look back at it on my list you get a refund for the updated box.</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>Maybe even the Tea series should be remade.. and finally there will be a V2 Beautiful Browns..</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>I still am planning the Natural Lichen ColourZ for Pauline Oceanlane... just because I loved the idea, and had it already somewhere but she put it up front and I think about it very much... and have been sorting images of lichen.</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>And for Fricka I want to make a set of MonoChromatic EYeZ! by AET..greyscale colours... because she loves grey and I would love to see various grey scales for black and white avatar skin and hair and clothes.. since there ARE black and white sims, or at least one. I dreamt once of a party like this when I was 16... I didn't know until just recently there are such things called "black and white" parties.. IRL (in my dream there was a chess board and people dressed appropriately to "play" the game)</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>Perhaps I can rent a sim for a party? Quark Allen would have to be the DJ.. of course...but only the stuff I like ;) When he plays some great music he is definately one of the BEST SL DJ's I have ever heard... he loves Kraftwerk too, and has a great understanding of the music under the timeframes I love most as well.</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>Maybe event planning????? never mind I can't even bother to show up to fun stuff.. how can I create something I can't show up to??</div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div></div>AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-1086542362897759882008-11-05T00:43:00.000-08:002008-11-05T00:50:14.976-08:00I'm worried about Fab Free...the bloggs that I loved so much and found so much inspiration from.. well they are essencially DEAD.. without FAB Hazel (Hazel Homewood) the blogg has died.. there are post here and there.. but its soooooooooo sad :(<br /><br />in spite of the Freebie Telegraph..SL FreeStyle.. and others.. Fab Free was the largest.. once the largest falls.. its hard to really catch it all..<br /><br />Please everyone at Fab Free.. bring back Hazel.. bring back Cher bring back everyone..blogg like you used to do.. or I'm worried that you will die a death of Linden Lifestyles.. :(AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-55308426972259007672008-10-30T16:20:00.001-07:002008-10-30T16:21:55.322-07:00more images.. pictures speak better than I do<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEc60WaXn8fSBptb5brVUDPj_GDebZLTy7Cbhv4mzRQ0ZOvMeX5H4s_8qYA2a2Nkj6Szk3nNVqVv1LA7y4cToWdB0da8CQYV-aSCnx-uV84UakJP0F-Y8tz440aPwY8m7x4hnOR4psi38/s1600-h/windowt_008.png"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263091094680243538" style="WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEc60WaXn8fSBptb5brVUDPj_GDebZLTy7Cbhv4mzRQ0ZOvMeX5H4s_8qYA2a2Nkj6Szk3nNVqVv1LA7y4cToWdB0da8CQYV-aSCnx-uV84UakJP0F-Y8tz440aPwY8m7x4hnOR4psi38/s400/windowt_008.png" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-90482429665707448932008-10-30T16:09:00.001-07:002008-10-30T16:19:53.225-07:00I thought of something.. and then suddenly it got lost<div>soooo like I have nothing to write here.. as much as I thought I had an actual idea or something.. sorry for the waste of time...back to pictures for me.</div><div> </div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLGzHMcZ_q23AJ586bYI09oMvNaQNVWercNQe0KmfQ2o2MMTT6epDv6qfSXkJc-TG1N4gsSDhUzfiwDDi_2Sbs1VjAcA3mKRWv9M7sjZYEV5j_BoLKnctwmXVmo008pfvKSI2wkoaTMWA/s1600-h/windowt_005.png"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263090436982493522" style="WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLGzHMcZ_q23AJ586bYI09oMvNaQNVWercNQe0KmfQ2o2MMTT6epDv6qfSXkJc-TG1N4gsSDhUzfiwDDi_2Sbs1VjAcA3mKRWv9M7sjZYEV5j_BoLKnctwmXVmo008pfvKSI2wkoaTMWA/s400/windowt_005.png" border="0" /></a></div><div> </div><div>I hope PNG files are visible..</div>AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-16330827876870418552008-10-27T00:36:00.000-07:002008-10-27T00:50:11.161-07:00Lycka Till!the core of good intent, sometimes isn't shown, where as the core of unintentional, doing small good, using instinctive process, often benifits more than yourself...<br /><br />I have been given a wonderful oportunity by {Fricks} one of my most all time favourite virtual shops.. my earliest images when I went to this wonderful shop have been of awe, due to the fact I found not only the skin and products sold there wonderful, but at the same time.. the shop itself was and has been so well designed.. to think an onrez vendor of mine in such a wonderful shop!!<br /><br />I have to get to work!! Not only that, but I got some freaking wonderful previews of the latest thing to come out of that shop too, just last night.. I don't feel worthy and I bask in the warmth of the feeling of these generous acts, I value Fricka's opionions when it comes to things because I found her to be such a visual treat within all her work and the way she tastefully presents it all! Its edgy, unique, spirited and stands out.. but its not just that.. its utterly beautiful.. not always for the "everyday" or entirly realistic look, but yet.. awesome.<br /><br />For me this is a big step.. because I am scared out of my mind of success because it requires commitment and time.. the commitment I have, but the time is scarce! It inspires one to be even more creative though.. but I don't know if I am being "creative" after all.. I'm only making eyes so far.. and I did do one former Soviet Union pin.. and maybe a tea box.. I planned to do skin, but I don't have the guts to sell anything.. because they are too ordinary or too imperfect.. and these attention to details is serious for me..often paralyzing..<br /><br />thats why I avoid things like spell check and such because if I always fell into that, I would never get this huge lump of wordage out of my superficially lunky head. The deeper thoughts hardly get the chance to come out at times.<br /><br />I do say, it was, and probably will be the testiment to my inablity to deal with school on a gramatic level..on a level of "do what we say, and you will succeed, level.." and yet for the lack of information, education on the ground level, I managed to succeed and go to university, passing tests I had to take for proficency although I didn't have what they called, "the preperation of "education"".<br /><br />If I go more into real life stuff, I will have to use the other blogg...its getting to be late, and I have messages to attend to and images to create and EYeZ! to make...AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-51411622274842794662008-10-16T03:03:00.001-07:002008-10-16T03:04:55.453-07:00oh no!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiJ82sOYdqQTrZtPE29NADAyD3Qzvw1BpDmxKkNAGibn4k958xaM0HNR0Sd2hyEqiqI9y9bF4PXknbaSjFIS7S7qIJOmcEA1g13Iils9_XEw74ZNQQKW2uYeLceGvtmzqxuvZBMtry49M/s1600-h/come+back+baby_007.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257690565476792930" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiJ82sOYdqQTrZtPE29NADAyD3Qzvw1BpDmxKkNAGibn4k958xaM0HNR0Sd2hyEqiqI9y9bF4PXknbaSjFIS7S7qIJOmcEA1g13Iils9_XEw74ZNQQKW2uYeLceGvtmzqxuvZBMtry49M/s400/come+back+baby_007.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-75844263395306943802008-10-16T02:55:00.000-07:002008-10-16T03:02:50.980-07:00prims prims prims<div>making eyes? time to move to something bigger.. for example HAIR.. um but since I am not ambitious.. I think I will just stick to building where I can see all 150-299 prims all working where they are big enough to mess with properly.. </div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div>ah hair is just so difficult because of that one thing.. to get a good hair, you need a great texture and you need to create lots of prims that are mostly flexi.. I think.. thats how I feel about it.</div><div> </div><div> </div><br />What happens when your gold fish gets too big for the bowl?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGdGHxbRghJZ_w1SEt7zujwYrDDNrrlx2zLTbdkxkevJUU7AGeX-QJXpkZOJ3prDPETz-u31hE-EMdGQAlSvAInhjgCTkoNEpbjEcNgWUwipiof8mdfz5mia13_zmUNtwohW6ztyqXcXQ/s1600-h/come+back+baby_010.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257689195326170226" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGdGHxbRghJZ_w1SEt7zujwYrDDNrrlx2zLTbdkxkevJUU7AGeX-QJXpkZOJ3prDPETz-u31hE-EMdGQAlSvAInhjgCTkoNEpbjEcNgWUwipiof8mdfz5mia13_zmUNtwohW6ztyqXcXQ/s400/come+back+baby_010.bmp" border="0" /></a><br />well if anyone knows, please tell me.. as long as its not "get a bigger bowl".<br /><br />still I want to stage some images.. one with a man/woman holding a gold fish bowl, while waiting for the bus, wearing a suit and bowler hat.. maybe an umbrella? I don't know, its from a dream I want to mess with in my mind. Its all pretty prims anyhow.AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-75711855369054831712008-10-05T23:52:00.000-07:002008-10-06T00:33:56.576-07:00Walking backwardstaking a trip though the past doesn't usually do anyone any good, I miss the way things were with youtube, however.. once some people were gone, and some of the things that happened took an unexpected turn.. people who went from cool to harrasing.. as an example and people who went from friends to "banned".. its kind of difficult to wrap my head around that kind of thought.<br /><br />I have enough RL for that..not that any activity that happens on the internet is not real, it may even be more real, the hurt I experience there is possibly worse due to the fact that that is a personal space inside my mind and I allowed "others" to come in and walk around. Heck, note that my virtual address has no doors, I welcome all.. (until there is a problem) and I haven't had to boot, injure "kill avatar" or ban anyone..<br /><br />In the old Gnubie area I had more trouble..I had people walking around and sometimes they were running in and running out NAKED.. and sometimes a person who had stopped by for what seemed to be a friendly visit, suddenly jumped on my avatar and try to sit on me, and then take out a virtual body part and show it to me.. what was the deal? I thought the idea of a PG area was at least KNOWN..<br /><br />At least with Eldora, I have this brilliant place.. even if I want to take all the neglected properties around me and just clear them.. (I even hijacked some of their prims to keep people from rezing around the area) I love that little house there.. I feel good there... funny thing is, people, what they do.. I have to wonder, my Eldora is humble in comparison, even if a grand sized hut, it is simple.. and yet.. I cling to it as it is, although I am capable of grander and much more.. I can't bring myself to change it.. not one bit, but soon I may have no other choice.<br /><br />I want a winter garden.. with a tiny tea shop.. I have so many tea cans to recreate now, and my eyes.. they make me really happy.. they feel "good"..<br /><br />I am simple and pathetic and yet, I seek the simple joy of creating something, sharing it and having others enjoy it too.. just as a child would. I know sometimes I get a bit worried that people will reject my apreciation of them too, considering past records of things. Even my own mother set me up for this, when I was a child, I drew and made so many things in school and I made them for her, ah but the way things go, one day, in a sudden outburst my mother said "would you stop making these things for me, I can't keep them all, I am running out of space!!!"<br /><br />It really hurt me more than I care to think about, and I was only 3 or 4 at the time, but I remember so much.. how I just wanted her to like what I made... to understand that I made it for her because I loved her... and from that day, it always put me in a kind of conflict with trying to please people.. to worry about when what is too much appreciation. From the perspective of walking backwards into the past, as an older person, I can see, she loves me in her own way, that she never understood that ambition to win over people or to show appreciation to people by giving them something one makes with your own hand.. she was based in practicality and had no joy from asthetic beauty in the same sense as I gave her.. maybe my techical skill has been turned towards the goal due to the fact that I wanted to create things that she would find "prettier".. than store bought tourist velvet glitter gifts from Japan that she got from her father..but I could never do that, I know that now, because it was not the things for her, but who gave them to her..I don't really know... because, strangely enough.. things changed<br /><br />She grew to be the one who found some paper I scribbled on when I was speaking on the telephone and put it away to be framed.. *eyes pop* to take the smallest nothing I did and make it out to be "brilliant"<br /><br />It seems to me, thats the kind of off ballance life I have with people.. my mother in law.. in deep hatred of me.. getting worse the more I stay away, due to the fact she called me a lier to my face, when she lied about ringing the door bell when I was home.. and me not coming to the door.. ah.. but that is a longer story, and then it is the mistranslation, and missinterpretation, even my husband's sister is involved to believe that what she believes she heard was actually true.. but they have to ask themselves, why would they believe I would say THAT? could they have already formed an opinion of me after all these years and the filter of the mother in laws perceptions have done far too my damage?<br /><br />She is an insecure lady..no doubt, but she is ALSO someone who never allows for people to talk to each other.. and makes it harder for people to talk with eachother due to the fact, she wants everything on her own terms.. so when I dictated a few of my own, she was pissed.<br /><br />Still.. hindsight.. and she says I manipulate her son (my husband who has HIS OWN MIND, thanks) so that he always stands on my side- HA HA HA!! Boy she insulted him with that remark, he didn't have to be there to be insulted, because I was there for him and felt it was a blow against what she would call "good judgement".. its so bad, the only thing to do is "avoid" or "confront".. and she avoids when I confront..typically passive agressive.. and yet behind my back.. it seems the only thing I am good for is cooking. (at least I am good for something)<br /><br />but Youtube.. with what is going on there.. who got thrown off.. and the things going on..well... lets see.. I see metropolis is back on youtube..:P must have got a camera again..and to mention him would be a bad point.. just due to the fact I was falsely accused there of something I was not confronted with either.. WTF is going on with people? I like people.. people who are safe for me to like though-- its like this.. I realize and told my husband this major problematic point:<br /><br />I tend to ditch any friend who gets close to me these days IF I find that I am starting to like them anywhere nearly as much as I like my husband as just a friend.. NOW this is where it gets tricky.. I get very close to people even if I put it down in my mind I never will and don't want to.. and then there are some people who are my friends in real life, (as well as on the internet) and I have been woahfully neglecting them due to the fact, that A, I have been feeling a bit hurt about other friendships, and B, that I had to fight for time to grow my friendships only for this time to be considered "time wasting" and C, I really love them mentally, and don't want to because then, the love that I have been saving for the admiration and appreciation of my husband feels betrayed, even if the "love" I feel is a matter of joy or admiration.<br /><br />IOW, had someone felt that I got too close to them.. and banned me just because of that, they really didn't have to, because it would have never gone that way anyhow.... it would have been rather flirty and then dead by the time it thought about in the walking backwards effect.. and then they themselves would have found out what I am all about.. which is really quite nothing much really.. thank goodness no one ever reads these things! They would have found out sooner than I would have.. because it took months for me to come to this conclusion.<br /><br />I am just a runner.. I leave a bunch of people behind me because I feel too much..not bad to feel too much, in fact when it comes to too much or nothing, naturally I choose too much..I really don't like being treated like that myself.. but they should remember they did nothing to cause my silence..<br /><br />I'm just shy when it comes to facing the conflict at the core of my heart... a difference between my "universal love" and the need to put a leash on it.. and direct it completely over to my husband.. because I don't want anyone to be a better friend to me than he is.. even if he isn't really a good friend sometimes at all.. (he used to be my bestest best friend in the whole wide world)<br /><br />none the less.. if you got my gifts.. things I created and put value upon, you got some of my heart..AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-76521618201737054372008-09-08T02:54:00.000-07:002008-09-08T02:58:37.951-07:00an act of virtue in the land of virtual..?<a href="http://blog.secondlife.com/2008/09/04/second-life-and-ad-farms/">http://blog.secondlife.com/2008/09/04/second-life-and-ad-farms/</a><br /><br />People debate now, if they really care.. one thing is for certain some of the older behaviours are resulting in LL action being quite, "knee jerk".. sometimes just out of pressure they become excessively active.. they mirror the thoughts of the media like this sometimes... I enjoy the idea that they will be being strict about adds.. because add farms are generally UNPLEASENT... thanks to Meredith Staheli for informing me of this new artical!AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-15716780979380366572008-09-06T04:22:00.000-07:002008-09-06T04:27:12.941-07:00What's Real, and is it the Ownership of your interactive experience which makes you such a BASTARD?There is a psychology to stuff like "Road Rage" and "Virtual Rudeness".. it comes with an idea that this is a computer one owns.. and the world inside of the computer being owned by the person in command often has to bend to the will of the "owner".. its a lack of realization of how other people feel because for many, its quite anonymous--<br /><br />I see this for example with Youtube and the comments people leave.. and yet, I know, IRL, no one would ever be so rude directly to someone's face.. so we do have to gently remind people that there are different levels to the reality they experence.<br /><br />Because its not passive like a TV, the experience people have will be effected by attitude.. just as in "Road Rage"..a bad and a good day is really often attitude plus perspective plus expectation..and has nothing to do with what actually is going on.<br /><br />When people are extremely rude on SL I get the impression that they never learned that the computer (which they consider their property and all things in it including the people in the experience) IS LIKE A TELEPHONE..and that all communications between people require a social sensitivity.. and the funnest thing I learned is people who I would have thought intellegent, at least on paper have no clue about treating people via words within letters or computer communcations.. and really needs sensitivity training.<br /><br />I mean someone is giving something.. right? What did we learn (did we learn that??) as children to say, "please" and "thank you" and when needed "no thankyou".. because you have the right to say "no" in a polite way as well.<br /><br />Sorry about the bla bla bla.. but what I read on FABFREE's Blogg about the rudeness of people struck a nerve with me.<br /><br />Considering more than 10 years ago I met someone via the "internet" for people to tell me stupid things like "that person is not for real"...and then we met, fell deeper in love and I moved to Sweden, over someone who other people of so called reasonable thought telling me I was not experiencing something REAL.. just because I met on the internet, rather than at a "real location" such as a bar or something..<br /><br />so.. to the road ragers.. and annoymously rude.. who don't think there are "real people" on SL, maybe you need to be nicer to see the better side of it all.AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-88868950499870189142008-09-05T22:55:00.000-07:002008-09-05T22:56:35.465-07:00AET's evolution.. not exactly anything brillant unless you saw the very first day...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd-aQ-brKRXUnejVm-lqg4ziNZIqP3zJ_srGkGsIdO-u2MSVQeYqVe1IFwvXPeiE9lV81jC_rmOEFUtMumD8Con9a1TCejTBGGmWCVrQgRUWTUUmf9XSQ0Htk2xV-ri3LTzitdeL379u0/s1600-h/evolution+of+AET.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242783080967753714" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd-aQ-brKRXUnejVm-lqg4ziNZIqP3zJ_srGkGsIdO-u2MSVQeYqVe1IFwvXPeiE9lV81jC_rmOEFUtMumD8Con9a1TCejTBGGmWCVrQgRUWTUUmf9XSQ0Htk2xV-ri3LTzitdeL379u0/s400/evolution+of+AET.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7475174187612308504.post-84762225092847947262008-09-05T13:37:00.000-07:002008-09-05T14:20:32.571-07:00Attempts at looking sharp on the test grid<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqUaWwV_-2MSir82OX8_uGOkgT3CVFaxZHH-9nEH69ivr3-jun6ckw7d5dGvtbxq-3GqiBaJ1qQVFzxZcb9ssS19xczA68CODBw8KmhYg4-bRXaihU72ApzuhwQTNWDcV8-g7IEADksJI/s1600-h/mosaic4202795.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242649359054373058" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqUaWwV_-2MSir82OX8_uGOkgT3CVFaxZHH-9nEH69ivr3-jun6ckw7d5dGvtbxq-3GqiBaJ1qQVFzxZcb9ssS19xczA68CODBw8KmhYg4-bRXaihU72ApzuhwQTNWDcV8-g7IEADksJI/s400/mosaic4202795.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Now I understand how to make mistakes.. so I hesitate to make more- thus I have been testing my eyes on the test grid almost all week now! blah! I'm trying to come up with imagery which would look really stylish.. but I think the images should be multi coloured, multi cultural and multi gendered..<br /><br />Right now its quite homogenious, but it has a bit of androdgynious stuff going on which I kind of like..AstroSphinxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05810428366723903928noreply@blogger.com0