an act of virtue in the land of virtual..?

http://blog.secondlife.com/2008/09/04/second-life-and-ad-farms/

People debate now, if they really care.. one thing is for certain some of the older behaviours are resulting in LL action being quite, "knee jerk".. sometimes just out of pressure they become excessively active.. they mirror the thoughts of the media like this sometimes... I enjoy the idea that they will be being strict about adds.. because add farms are generally UNPLEASENT... thanks to Meredith Staheli for informing me of this new artical!

What's Real, and is it the Ownership of your interactive experience which makes you such a BASTARD?

There is a psychology to stuff like "Road Rage" and "Virtual Rudeness".. it comes with an idea that this is a computer one owns.. and the world inside of the computer being owned by the person in command often has to bend to the will of the "owner".. its a lack of realization of how other people feel because for many, its quite anonymous--

I see this for example with Youtube and the comments people leave.. and yet, I know, IRL, no one would ever be so rude directly to someone's face.. so we do have to gently remind people that there are different levels to the reality they experence.

Because its not passive like a TV, the experience people have will be effected by attitude.. just as in "Road Rage"..a bad and a good day is really often attitude plus perspective plus expectation..and has nothing to do with what actually is going on.

When people are extremely rude on SL I get the impression that they never learned that the computer (which they consider their property and all things in it including the people in the experience) IS LIKE A TELEPHONE..and that all communications between people require a social sensitivity.. and the funnest thing I learned is people who I would have thought intellegent, at least on paper have no clue about treating people via words within letters or computer communcations.. and really needs sensitivity training.

I mean someone is giving something.. right? What did we learn (did we learn that??) as children to say, "please" and "thank you" and when needed "no thankyou".. because you have the right to say "no" in a polite way as well.

Sorry about the bla bla bla.. but what I read on FABFREE's Blogg about the rudeness of people struck a nerve with me.

Considering more than 10 years ago I met someone via the "internet" for people to tell me stupid things like "that person is not for real"...and then we met, fell deeper in love and I moved to Sweden, over someone who other people of so called reasonable thought telling me I was not experiencing something REAL.. just because I met on the internet, rather than at a "real location" such as a bar or something..

so.. to the road ragers.. and annoymously rude.. who don't think there are "real people" on SL, maybe you need to be nicer to see the better side of it all.

AET's evolution.. not exactly anything brillant unless you saw the very first day...

Attempts at looking sharp on the test grid

Now I understand how to make mistakes.. so I hesitate to make more- thus I have been testing my eyes on the test grid almost all week now! blah! I'm trying to come up with imagery which would look really stylish.. but I think the images should be multi coloured, multi cultural and multi gendered..

Right now its quite homogenious, but it has a bit of androdgynious stuff going on which I kind of like..

eye stick to what eye know-

Making eyes is something that I feel more confident in than making any other thing.. thats why I will eventually be uploading my eyes onto the main grid.. (I took this on the test grid)-- its just one of many I made yesterday and I feel somewhat smuggly proud of what has happened.

It could just be crap.. but for the price and style and quality, I don't think so.

Marketing style?

If I sold eyes, skins, and shapes.. and eventually hair and other goodies.. this is my idea of how I would market it all-

I believe that it would be all about attitude.. and not a hell of allot more, after all.. my shape here is based upon my own shape.. and in all honesty.. I only stop the bus, and no other traffic ;) and if you took one of the people so thought of for their beauty and just look at them .. you would find out, they are not super human, but possibly someone you may find repulsive.. and in the real world and especially in SL beauty is all in the mind and attitude.. if someone gets it, fine if they don't get it.. maybe they can learn it before they die.. its a learning of a lifetime and its something that goes against the grain of the modern ideas of most of the cyber culture.

Who knows.. maybe I'm just being preachey and being a hypocrite all at once :D Let me go figure out how easy it is to be sexy when a person bites on their toenails. (god forbid it was ME that did that, even if I CAN reach)

between the hair fair and dressing up

I experiemented with the Forge filters to see what they have to show me..

since I promised myself to wait out the Flickr obsession by posting pictures here, I am doing it.

Going for a swim?

Stardate, suplimental: stormy weather calm weather, SL vs RL

Take note that even some of my compositions IRL are the same as SL.... even if they were taken many years before.. but still.. its kind of interesting to see how often I repeat myself visually.

Apple Hunt-- found more than apples!!

My response to all the voices.. real and imagined!!

Captured Atmospheres..

Ruthed!!!

Naked Vlogg.. still in progress..

Oh yes.. and about the naked vlogg chain I was supposed to do.. I will try to get that finished, possibly this week.. (or not!) I had a really nice idea and it was going to be a cartoonish collage of cartoons saying "naked".. as in rocko's modern life, and and maybe something like freakazoid too.. just little clips as punctuations, if possible.. with my AV and my rambing babbling talk... as usual.

I'm a vitual girl in a virutally owned world..

I dreamt I had to go to the beach.. (where) every day for a week before my birthday. I don't know why, and to be quite honest, what beach am I to do to? Ingerö? Skärgård? not anything really "out there" for me.. although I am partial to Ingerö and I miss going there the little time I used to go.. but right now the water is probably icy at best, my chest hurts when I breathe too hard and I'm still quite sun senstive.

Maybe a vitual beach is better? I need to find a new sandbox group.. I am getting pretty tired of the enourmous size of the Friends of the Pond.. its really driving me mad too with all their contests and stuff.

What bothers me is owning land is like living in the newbie home.. you have a limited amount of prims although more than twice as much.. and you still need to use the sand box :P... however if I want to be efficent I can start creating a few vendors (not unlike Yip does it) as posters... and stick them on my walls!!! eh yeah!!! But now I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO BUILD VENDORS!

some pictures from SL.. maybe you want to see?

When ambition falls asleep..

.... an example of what happens when you end up sleep walking though life...

As both a "slacker" and a "ecco" mum.. I look in the mirror and ask myself "what do you want to be?".."I want to be who I am.. so what about the so called "conflicts".. those are other people's problems because they are too attached to belief systems.." "True" I say back-- it is obvious that the cage of belief is strong and people tend to want a nice box to define you with. To those who I agree with.. I often can not fully agree with EVERYTHING they say.. but then again why should I? I rarely agree completely with myself.. right? I suspect no one can, not if they are honst with everthing they see and are flexible.

For the crime of flexibility and Non-commitment to the Protestant work ethic--- you are labled a Slacker..

For the crime being vegan/vegetarian and of wanting to know and be aware of where what little money I have goes to (and making sure its a good cause) you are labled an "Ecco Loonie" as well as "High Mantanance".

.. and for being interested in politics that makes sense.. ..and ideas that goverments should be held accountable for their actions you are either a raving loony or a member of the new "sensible" poltical party (started by Captian Sensible he is one great looking vegan!!!.) Hippy bastard..

And for not believing obviously stupid statements put out their by the consolidated media.. you are labled the worst of all.. a conspiricy nut.

I think the best of all the lables I see .. the one that defines me now is Zombie and I don't want it.. I hate sleepwalking though life.

taking that leap.. do I need time to think?

Yes yes.. I know I don't call, I don't write.. youtube without some people who brought me into the whole experience has been rather difficult..

Soundcard problems.. before that the flu and I happen to once again, once again get knocked off kilter here in 12th house heaven.. the time of strong self examination provides exits and distraction to avoid the real "suffering" and that suffering of course is avoiding the fact I am avoiding something so I totally try to avoid that!

What am I avoiding? Well.. there are many chambers in this maze.. the heart that is locked away because I am not allowed to talk to people has effected how I talk to people I CAN access.. and then my avoidance of my friends and my mother leave me to think I do it because I have allot on my mind and I don't think this is the time to explode at them..but rather those close to me for making me lock the doors of communication I have the possiblity of opening.

There is the other factor which has probably destroyed my health since it happened about 3 years ago and that was the final relief of someone taking contact up with me only to finally write me off as possibly not worth it for the sake of my possibly strict out of the loop point of view..

I'm not hip, I'm not young.. I'm growing weary of the fact that this block was commited last year via the guise of a door of oportunity left open a crack but not enough to really really get an understanding (from both sides). I am the queen of conflict and I bring up things to the surface for people which are uncomfortable.. so some of these minor dramas of recent months of cold abandonment are minor but hurt possibly more due to the fact it was like salt in an already wounded space and didn't relate to the real here nor there.

It resonates because the first "AlterEgoTrip" was born as a MySpace alternative account- an alternative to my REAL myspace account because someone had a block on bands but made a final step to interact with me by invite. AlterEgoTrip myspace was deleted after a few weeks of interaction which lead to conflicts.. just as I thought the surface was finally starting to wear away into truth...that very day I deleted that myspace account.. AlterEgoTrip showed up as a youtube channel and a few months later I actually made a first video.

Then the guilt the guilt for my feeling of abandoning my geniune friend, Greta for the fact that I deep down wished that Julie could be equally as cool and equally as deep and aware of things. I can't emphisise enough how bad I feel for wishing one person was more like another- especially since both have equally gone through the wringer at such young ages... and naturally come up with different results because of different perspectives and the freedom each one had (or didn't) to make their own mistakes.

And because of the fight between the two Petes I leave Pete number 3 who also feels distraught about the whole mess to his own life to publishing (probably out to print soon too again as he does one book every 1-2 years).. (I've really got to drop a real painting by him for his birthday! and naturally like always for everyone write something to say "hello")

With so many other people who have been left in the silence of my constant shakey ground of my own daily dose of shock..childhood friends also thought of.. also unable to lift up my fingers to say hello with what its worth.. unable to look at my Myspace.. unable to fix up a youtube video and yet I forge ahead to the ground that isn't blocked with feeling of adversion and guilt.. and yet it IS.. it is my second life.

I intended to take a leap for what its worth and get an actual premium account so I can own land (under the time of my account is in effect and maybe a little more :O) and unlimited uploads (maybe that is not true) and an ability to start my own buisness.. starting with onrez and finally creating vendors and a shop oooooh right.

My deepest fear is that I too will abandon this in 6 months to a year.. for one reason or another.. and that doesn't appeal to me.. what I need to do is clear up the psychic mess.. its starting to unblock now.. partially because right now my Inlaws are moving giving us the space of the intire house and then its Summer and we have FAMILY time soon, I hope. If it doesn't work out.. or we can't handle it.. then I will be seriously disappointed.

I'm already shrugging off the disappointment of my own expectations. I was considering one option also with the land ownership and that was donating land to one of my groups.. but this is the catch.. they need to change the name.. because after what happened with one of the most brilliant youtube members.. I can not allow for the name of youtube to continue without them paying for it. Either that or make a Video Face - Print Head group or a multitasker's group..it is an idea but since I have joined so many groups for free crap.. I have to rotate those if I start an actual group... it seems many within Fab Free do this allot and its nothing to be ashamed of.

Cycling down.. gearing down.. real life painting may take over if can't learn how to schedual myself so I can do my multi task dreams such as creating a song for Eurovision-- this year??? Fixing my son's new room.. keeping in touch with family.. keeping well and physically active to avoid health problems.. not over doing it!!!! Running about with my little boy---making videos-- painting upstairs and making our own furnishings for that room to multi-task in.. and finally starting a Second Life buisness on top of SUMMER Hollidays.. I feel a bit unrealistic looking at this list, especially when I see that on a daily basis I get caught up in cleaning and cooking for hours on end as well.

Thus I end up staying up late to fulfill my internet demands and have had delays in making videos I have promised to make (a naked vlogg or one with a naked theme I don't know)..that was before I got the flu.. and I miss my friends my very very real friends over at SP chat but I can no longer stay up so late on Friday because its probably the only contact my husband and I may have for anything close.

Life is good but there is a new need for more hours in the day (and night for decent sleep)..

Should I really take this second life leap on top of all this other stuff?

the more I look, the more I realize

so now my AV is an impression of me at 19 years old.. here I am wandering about the deeper side of Kowloon, the walled city which technically exists as an internet ghost.. "NeoKowloon".



I have been spending allot of time here because the story, although I didn't know it at first, is really MY story. A city which was torn down. A real city which was in existence, had its own rules and its "government" agreed to getting rid of it, before the changing of hands of Hong Kong to the mainland China.... it was settled in 1987 and its residents forcibly evicted from 1991- 1992.



It mirrors a version of China which is old and chaotic and yet has its own sense of order and rules.. obviously the task of awakening the ghost was done via Japanese people who have become very interested in the story.. interested enough to create a sim.. that is impressive.



Right now in many parts of the world we don't even think about the knocking down of shanty towns and long living cities.. with the people every day.. because of governmental interference with peoples essencial rights to Live someplace... to create a space to live, wether that space be a box or a house. Now with that being said, at this time since China is doing all it can to bring itself up on first impressions as a first world country.. (and repeating many of the mistakes of Mao) forcibly removing people from the land they lived on for many generations and putting cities underwater for the massive hydroelectric project, to bring China into an uncertain future with a the one child policy and scrawny compensation for being forcibly removed to the crappily built "artificial" cities.. ect.



It is happening every day.. and no one has questioned it because China's hosting the Olympics games has become the focus of the world (and China) and an even more perfect view of order is being given... China is the example of what the governments want... and you can't say it is communist policy, because its not a "communist" government which wants to control people as mear toys to be moved about when they choose, its EVERY government with that as a hidden agenda.. to make people more submissive.. in what ever way they need to, and if that means removing a culture or getting rid of them, then that is what will happen.




Edit: talking to someone from the sim later on that day I discover that it is the opinion of people in general that it was the British who were at fault destroying Kowloon... where as I believe that it was both British and Mainland China which could not "deal with" the idea of people who had raw and unchallanged will power.

Advert to get paid for...

http://www.earn2life.com/process/joinadvertiser.html?AlterEgoTrip



This is an advert to earn money like camping only its called... EARN2LIFE.

I'm not one for adverts or even trying to earn money by increasing traffic in areas, but its like camping for that same reason.. If buisnesses within Second life want some additional traffic inside of their area and people to vote and people to look at their goods sometimes they have to go out and get people to walk through the space.



With this in mind there are allot of buisnesses on the Directory they have.. thats what the add is for, a referal to a way to get more traffic as well as a very heavily promoted directory.. I'm not a huge fan of stuff like this but its all part of any idea, to get people moving towards the buisness and actually take a look.. perhaps buisness owners should even ask some of the people walking through their site what they can do to improve it.. you know?



Ah never mind me.. I'm not all that empathetic but if one day I become a buisness owner, it would be nice to be able to be a part of a directory that tries to spread around your link to as many people as it can.. for example the Adult adoption agency.. that was really cute.. but then I don't often see the darker sides to things, do I? Anyway, off to the sandbox or maybe not.