my adventures into employment via Linden Labs..

In my small research and the aplication to the Linden labs as inworld employee.. I discover the reason why there are SO many freaking barbies..(aside from the Alady Shop)



Many of the creators were employed by Mattel and Disney corperation.. is it only an escape from that mindset, style, design or is it an attempt to take those embedded images to another level to a world where we are expected to face it on a more personal, face to face situation? As residents are we able to discern what is the agenda of Linden Labs? Is there an agenda or is this too a babbling from one of the disconteded..?

Mattel is the product lable of "Barbie", now does it surprise you after knowing this that so many AVs look like "Barbies" (and "Kens")? With this also in mind, the majority of the designers who make prim shoes create them with this mindset of "feet set to "0"" what I consider a "Barbie" feature as well, as the doll always had amazingly small feet.. which brings used to frustrate me to no end.. until I got an actual doll that had flat and larger feet and even made some of my own bigger "dolls" in clay with beautiful chunky little feet...

Changing the train of thought, I find myself wondering how much of Barbie's design has gone into the female form of SL? And with that in mind, the idea of castles, Disney and "Kink" comes to mind as well... I always thought that Disney had a darker underbelly lerking within its messages and films.... there was always a feeling in my gut concerning the latest 30-40 years of film which has come out from this mega giant media monopoly... it is like the drawing and character design was all a secret langauge of "good is beautiful and evil is ugly" but in reality we all know that the myths of Christian faith portray the devil as a handsome man (and within the ideas of the more Jewish myths as a drop dead gorgous woman explained to me by someone). And why not?

Even in our cultural reality the multitude of serial killers had a handsome face and charm to lure the victims they selected.. so it only makes sense to me that we should be conditioned into that devilish little trap of looking at people's outter layer.. and not even focus upon their inner content. Its a trap that makes little girls dream of beauty contests (or is it their mother's dreams?) and even if beauty is not the end all be all, it reduces all that is good into a simple equasion.

Then for men the aquasition of the beautiful, the princessess.. it basicly is an equasion that makes certain that even if you are a good person, hunched over with a deformed back and ringing a bell in seclusion, you are only going to be the "friends" of the girls you love, and its always going to be that "handsome prince" who is going to get the girl in the end.. as the story is written.

Even still as Disney fights against that idea, in so many of its cute films with the same message about beauty and populatarity such as "Encino Man".. there is always a glitch in how they present their message, as even if the Cave "kid" was no longer covered in mud and cleaned up well, and was his own person, he was well formed and handsome enough to make my mother swoon and determined to see this film on every rerun its shown.

To understand this idealistic vision of people as real, and presented as real.. there is another message that was given to me.. (I guess my problem is that I want something deeper and it doesn't matter who the "actor" is as long as I feel something about the sincerity) the message was, in questioning the "IDEAL" when I did that, the very simplistic view of someone who I grew up was "who wants to see a film with a bunch of "ugly people" in it?"

I was horrified at this thought..because it brought up to the surface the real reason it bothered me so.. because it came down to a select few deciding what visual human beauty was.

Chocolate covered silk zombies and Irish dancing

Last week, before I got so distracted with making things, I had a visit from Sayax who donated some money to the cause of creating things in SL.. and I showed him a few portrait AVs I made.. and it was very nice.

The next day in the morning for me, I found myself at home in my house at SL after an adventure in Nexus Prime.. I got there because I looked at my chess board's creator's profile. It was interesting to find an older sim so far back.. with a story line and streaming media, that at the time I could not access and now I can't because I've been so busy. Ah but it was an adventure.. I took out the bicycle blimp and made an air examination after going though some of the main buildings earlier.. spooky but facinating stuff.. a person could really be taken in there. The atmosphere is filled with intrique.

So noting more about prims I realized my chess board was far too large.. so I had to put it away. :( so my instalation is no longer a chess party. But I got a low prim auto playing harp and then Space and Django came over and showed me some of what they found in the Hungarian sim... "silks" (as in Fish and Silk :P ) for free with the name Chocolate.. and a dance bracelet..

and the semi nudity was insane.. and the dancing was insane it was very Dionysian to the harp music and the flapping of the freebie silks.. and the skin showing OMG!! :D it was so funny I had to do it too.. and Space and Django to make things even funnier found some beat up skins with scars and bruises.. so it was like they were zombies and stuff... where as I was trying to cover up and where the silks trying to find something to match up but the dancing didn't make it easier, and neither did seeing my fat arse!!! :D man I did make my AV just the right size..I could see the back fat AND my arse fat!!! If only I too had a scared skin.. but IRL is good enough!

Anyway I ended covering myself in butterflies and flowers to cover the naughty places since my skin wasn't as PG as I wanted it to be. It was really funny.. but I guess you had to be there..

When Vidd showed up we tried to start this up again, but we got ejected from the platform high above and while I was falling... I was trying to get dressed in something more covering.. and just as I was falling, I got this message someone dressed as a white tiger was in my house..

Last night a week later, a white wolf was in my house, while I was looking for my parasol..and it barked at me..and then I asked "how can I help you?" and it ran away.. Strange.. I even tried to follow it on the map with no luck.

On an island, an exile

Under the radar of most views.. I am there.. funny how someone ELSE used my former words.. now I must make new phrases.

Ok so beneath an underground fortress, built of trust and companionship..we are..we become united in the force of a friendship of commonalities, creativity, a sense of fun and a lack of alterior motives..

I don't expect the ones missing should ever read this.. they exiled us, and put themselves on an island in their own enabling world. When I come to think of how I see people toss aside people valuable people in their lives.. but then again there were red flags. I was finally let in on some information, but then it made the mystery even more mysterious.. because one should never within a relationship answer any form of love with bitterness, hatred and apathy... if IT had been that way..but even still this is what is wrong with the world.

I know for a fact I would never treat my own husband, if he were on SL and messed about, I mean really messed about too (nothing minor) in a way that he was a dog to be diciplined.. and perhaps emotionaly beaten.. tell him to cut off all contact and walk away..from all of his friends. Because you can't answer LOVE with HATE... but in a way people who do are the ultimate confomists.. because they fear and feel threatened by someone who is not really "there", even in real life, someone my husband and I met.. a beautiful girl, I was there enjoying her company and my husband said.. "she wants me" in front of his friends and I.. then he followed it with "but she would have to pay..but you I give myself for free.."

I smiled and said "I agree.. If I were you, I'd go for it.." and winked.. "she's gourgous!!!" because there was no way I could compete.. but at the same time.. I did agree.. she was totally stunning.. and younger.. what can I do?

I will never answer LOVE or anything along that level with HATE.. no wonder why his male friends said "wow, you have a great wife!!" and as far I kept in touch with Cia for a few years after that too.. because she was totally sweet..not just beautiful (PS.. it was all talk for my husband and nothing happened between them because she was after all a girlfriend to a friend of his) I think we were both moved by her beauty.. thats what happens sometimes.

I have a few friends IRL, some of them have impulses which makes it hard for them to see their friends as just friends.. but someone they love. That is not a problem.. not really, the problem is when he/she crosses the line to where everyone is potentially a sexual conquest because of the lusty impulses.. and with that, I understand that people get hurt, but I understand why it happens.. its because no one can control the heart, and in order for them to control or have control over their "heart" they have strong urges to consumate any and all relationships which move them.. in a way it helps them to purge themselves, but it comes at the price of many lost friends and a hard time dealing with people they have very close relationships with, especially those who are outside of that "area", due to a lack of avaliablity on their part..

I'm not saying that I would have been on the same track.. because I do actually find myself delighted with people.. all genders and all appearances.. there use to be a real genuine fight inside of me, but its not there any longer, I do what I do, but I'm not out to love someone.. or make them love me.. I have that at home.. a family at home.. but friendships are actually one of the deepest loves you can have aside from love of your children; and when a person has very few friends due to the fact that they cannot share themselves with another person.. or feel that being friends with anyone but a partner are they not also obviously guilty of that impulse.. only they shun it and hate it when it comes up in themselves.

It reminds me IRL, of those times where its a whole new school season.. its the beginning.. and with beginnings you get all that new stuff.. and I was a compulsive doodler, I would cover my new notebooks in cartoons and doodles and words and scribbles... and I would say every season.. "this time I'm not going to scribble on my fresh new notebook..." and every time it would last about 2 weeks but that same urge would happen.. being that I would draw comics in class.. and couldn't be discouraged even with continued confiscation and trips to the principle's office..

One day.. I stopped, and in stopping I lost a bit of my soul..because it didn't make it stop just to stop, but rather it took the compulsiveness of my creative urge away..but with some of that being gone, I am only half the artist I was when I was a child...because with that came the impulse and made my will bend me. And was it an unhealthy thing after all? Maybe all those visits to the head office fucked up my head.. made them think they were actually doing something to create my conformity after all and that I am a brainwashed fool for it all.. and yes, I am only half the artist I could have been because of it.

Maybe I should have been like my brother and fall in to a pack mentality and see where that would have lead me?

But what about the love of anything? It is the thing that makes us better than just human.. it is the glory and the proof of existance of the soul..... and had it been Me doing the "pursuing" I offer a few things to contradict this idea.. and one is I gave many vitual gifts to all of my "friends" It was because it was a nice thing to do, so if someone thought I was just giving THEM anything, it wasn't just them, it was nothing personal but it was personalized.. and it goes with the teritory of being a friend of mine.. Had the "wife" been there where I could see her, she would have also been showered in gifts.. I only felt guilty that I didn't find ones that cost more points so when that happened I ended up giving more.

Or was that the problem.. I gave Gifts to OTHER people??? Did that mean, you weren't the ONLY ONE???? OMG, Jealousy????

Man.. thats got to hurt!! Jealousy and paranioa.. I forgive you for being human and having these feelings which crop up out of a feeling of love..

So now make your appologies and refriend your friends and back away from me with a better explanation than I have given here and I will accept it.. but don't cut yourself off from those who love you.. outside your self made island of exile..

PS I feel bad for any woman who should feel a threat from a cartoon lady who is a real person who has a family and is MORE than 10 years older than YOU..a person as a "fan" of yours and wanted, possibly all too late because of your lack of being with all of us, wanted to be your friend.

So just what IS missing in SL?

There are allot of things missing in Second Life...

Here is my list:
Dreadlocks
Decent Goblin hats
Crazy Viking Beserkers
Vitual Punk Venues (it seems)
African Music
Signs of how to avoid people with hidden agendas
Genuine Bravery
Clarity

A day at Grendel's

So since I had so little time on my hands.. and then when I finally did, I went to Grendel's where they have special avatars at affordable prices.. and used my camping money to obtain a Will o the Wisp, for about 15 lindens... kind of symbolic of how I feel.. kind of like those lonely little dangerous lights out on the moors luring and taunting people into danger.. bogs.. pits and the eventual quicksand.

I even got a package of fish shapes, dragonflies and "no face"..(no face was totally free) and since My son and I are huge fans of Spirited Away.. a no face avatar seemed fitting.

If anyone wishes to join Second Life or is a part of Second Life and finds it interesting to film a shot of a Person playing a game of chess with a gold fish.. don't be shy, leave a comment and join me..

Now I'm utterly confused!!!

I've been banned????


Holly crap what on earth did I say, I mean.. other than less cheeky things I have been told... I mean seriously.. I must be an evil bitch.. and the entire world utterly utterly hates me.. I should seriously have a party about it because I was going to write a ps note and say, I'm sorry I didn't say so earlier, but happy birthday...

But I'm not looking for empathy.. only explainations... its all I was asking for..its seriously weird to provoke so much apathy or hate.

and I didn't want drama. *roll eyes here*

Was it something I said?

Sometimes I say things.. it may hurt or insult or just annoy.. what did I say this last time????

I feel like someone is avoiding me.. and I don't really know why... but my writting is sucky unless its fictional..or dramatic at times.. but I've had a belly full of drama IRL and I want a small sip of compassion.

I feel myself grow colder and darker, my ability to speak stressed by a sore throat and earaches...I am screaming out, in my heart to communicate something, but music doesn't feel effective, nor do words. Things are changing here at home... and with the changes always comes a feeling of hesitation because transitional phases in life are always places of danger as well as new energy.

I feel happy about getting more space, but sad about less resources.. but I want to turn it around.. make resources from my imagination as I was meant to work.. another reason SL had become so important to me.. aside from friendships, meaningful and finally people I can relate to friendships.. and I fear that it is being taken from me... in one way or another.. and there is no person in the world who is rich enough to lose a friend, a real friend that is.. or a genunine person who can be a friend.

My friendship between my husband and I is often stressed because we ask so much from each other..it becomes more or less parental.. this is why I fear to ask much from my friends, because I feel once you HAVE to ask so much... you risk losing the value of the freedom that happens between people being like children..

My approach to SL has been this way.. as IRL, I'm thrilled by attention, as any child would be, but I'm avoiding situations where I seek it or it me..and like children when we find a person to really talk to us, are we not "in love" with that? Do you remember what it was when you were a child and you were just walking home from school and one of your class mates asks if you could come to their home and play? Wasn't it just the dearest feeling in the world?

What about that feeling when your good friend moved away.. and you were left all alone? Or what about those times when you had to move away and make all new friends....? If it didn't hurt.. you weren't fucking human.

Some of the best songs I've personally ever written were not about "love".. but about friendships gone bad.. because love in its nature is frail, where as I see friendships as strong and healthy and can stand up and fight for themselves.. but oh how it does cut up your heart when people missunderstand you or betray..!

But the thing about friendships most of all is not that they "help" you in anyway.. maybe they do, maybe they don't.. but it is the joy and connection with people..and the ablity to play.

When two of my friends got into a fight, I am standing in the middle.. and although I said "hello" its worse than being friends with two people you were friends with before they divorced!!! And now I don't say hello to either one so much and hope for one thing only - that they will see beyond their differences, put aside the problems that conflict has caused,, appologize and remember what they mean to each other... because they were BEST friends, but not taking sides here.. both are firey Aries!!! (Aries IS my 11th house cusp so it doesn't surpise me that these firey, charismatic types ARE my friends!!!!)

But in SL, I wonder if they could come around for tea and have a little talk? I mean I'd love to see them both there.. really, and desire not to seperate one section of my life for another.. and maybe introduce them to my friends via youtube and SL...it would be so cool.. since everyone is in the music industry in one way or another..and most of all.. I would love to win back the real friendship that was between my husband and I before we became what we are now.. (what ever that IS).

On the 4th of March is our aniversery..2001, and although techincally we never did do that American thing and actually "marry" there is a legal and binding contract beween two people who live together like marrage but without all that bloodtest, witness.. whatever.. my engagement ring says his name and the 4th of March.. and this is two years after I moved to Sweden... almost to the date, but only almost. Today is that day.

Go out there now and hug you friends today.. and tell them you miss them.

Never never land

Last night I went to Metamophisis to a Tiny party..

I made my tiny costume the first thing I got the notice, which was 15 minute before the party started!!!

I used the smallest avatar I had.. (non modifiyable :P) and dressed her up in a gold mascarade ballet outfit I aquired with high heels, a black feather fan and dragonfly wings.. and danced most of the night with a teddybear with what he called "attitude" from Spain.. Craneo.

It still wasn't as fun as finally getting armour and shooting a long bow out in the sandbox with Vidd..

It was kind of crazy and fun.. and vitually bloodthirsty as Vidd said I looked !! I want to go and find a decent sim to really let loose some of these arrows upon.. I think its time to go Zombie hunting!!!

all in a day's adventure?

Ok so when I saw that Vidd was around last night.. I went over to his house to bother him..well I hope I wasn't bothering him. I finally went to see the attic in his little house where he spends most of his time creating stuff.. like a mad scientist.

So we were just hanging around and for some reason we got started on the inventory list and like me, Vidd forgot what the name of that Star Trek outfit was called.. because it wasn't searchable unders Star Trek but rather Voyager.. which doesn't really come to mind easily.

We ended up talking about some armour so we were going to the shop as soon as Vidd change his clothes because he didn't want to be seen in the Star Trek gear..:P and then when I got to OMFG I kept getting booted..

because it had been a very long day.. I ended up calling it a night.. (sorry Vidd) I just couldn't handle the espulsion from the internet any more and I was dead tired.

IRL I had to push myself to do some things like go and take my son to his fave place to get some bubble bath bombs and stuff..and then I let him take a look at the drum kit at a shop in that area.. and then we took the scenic route walking down the narrow streets on the Northern part of Södermalm.

Thus the real possiblity of a video may be out soon of real life and a little adventure..

My son wants DRUMS.. no more no less, and cymbals too.. I think he deserves it! He's been working really hard and was very good when we went out.. We walked in the rain for a few hours actually, from the bus, and the train and then to the shop by Stockholm's Södra station.. and then when we went the crazy way down the street after seeing that it was the very high veiw of the typical Stockholm stuff like Ryderholman and Statshuset.

I figured it was a good moment to take out the camera in spite of the massive rain. And then we took the lift down to Slussen station to get to our train to Högdalen and then we walked and walked lost in the rain to find the indoor play house where you pay and let your kid run about like a manic.. yeah thats cool.. while I jumped up every few minutes seeing that he wasn't getting into trouble.

At least we got a ride home! And so you understand why my day was really a bit less than perfect for me.. with this stupid cold and everything yet again.

getting hooked on clothes for my dolly...

I see allot of potential with clothing.. there is so much to learn about different body types.. so everyone could easily be their own personal dress adviser.. my "dolly" has a short thick body... just like me.. I think I have most of the proportions correct..save for the feet because I just can't get the pretty shoes in my proportionally correct shoe size.. and so because of that I made the hands smaller too.

I supsect I'm about to turn this into a fasion blogg if I don't watch out.

Truth OR Dare!!!

Today Django took us to see a "Truth or Dare" machine in the area.. he found in the Hungarian section close to the place where we all "live" in SL.. So the three of us played the bottle spin with a truth or dare kind of thing going on.. it was wacky too.. especially those DARES!!! OMG!!!

It seems Space got all the fun questions.. Django seemed to get the lion's share of the dares.. because we were all picking on random, and I got all the deeply personal questions for some reason.. it was like the machine had an intelligence to its random questions.. and was obviously most curious about me..LOL...And although we were in a PG area, the questions really dealt on issues of sex , sexuality, suicide, necrophila, murder and money and what would you be willing to do for money both IRL and in SL...

The dares were a little silly..too such as "strip down to your underwear and accept a landmark from one of the other players and teleport there and Shout out "I'm So Horny!!"...

Humuculo would have had fun.. had he been there.. Vidd showed up later on and it was great to have another player, but by then the questions were getting a little recycled...and the machine was orbiting us randomly when it was our turns as well.. it was insane.

We did have fun and this was seriously addictive.. I stayed on a long time because of this game.. thats why I have to cut it short tomorow to go somewhere with my son even if I am not feeling well because I feel bad that he had to hang with his grandmother all day today.

Maybe we can try that game again, but not too soon, maybe every so often though with a group on maybe a Sunday? Ah it would be fun!!

a formal tea party..

There was much dancing and great amount of clasical music.. it seemed kind of cool and I liked the people for being somewhat at ease with more so called uncomfortable topics such as religion, politics and sex-- since those topics as a rule are generally taken as off limits by most, and started talking one to one with someone who represented themselves as a scientist.. on the topic of metaphysics. This always happens to me.

Its nice to meet people who are lively and smart.. charming but not crude.. maybe the occasional cheeky comment.. a little spice to life..

Certainly I will be coming back to their parties.. and perhaps bringing friends if they wish to go as well.

I was wearing an Far Eastern red and black formal outfit.. but mine was naturally different what was there.. but just as long, a wonderful freebie I got at House of Zen, a freebie feather fan I got from the Hera shop, and the freebie Tesla Mary Jane shoes from Fab Free HQ. I wouldn't normally post what I was wearing in such detail, but I wanted to emphise that I spent no lindens to create what I wore.. and even though it was different in style because it was a Far Eastern themed outfit compared to the tradtional Western formal dress, it looked nice and didn't stand out as being outside of taste.. or the theme of formal wear.

More stories yet to come!!!

Avatar: What do we wish to express about ourselves, or not about our selves?

A few weeks after sheading the newbie skin, the skin I was so attached to because it was the only one that made sense at the time, I am given to believe in this progress there was much that I needed to learn.. some people learn faster than others, where as I, as in real life put up with what I was given..

Upon hitting one of my first freebe lovely skin with freckles called "Another Skin"..I found something which felt positive, realistic and yet also beautiful. Maybe it was the variety in make up, maybe it was the way that the lumincent tones between the shadows and pinkish blush looked.. not to mention how realistic the freckles also looked... I discovered an artist to contribute to the art of the avatar, her name is Eloh..and she's a brilliant creator!!!

Beside the first hair I bought, when I got to the Gnubie shop at Indigo, I bought first, a pair of eyes. I love them too, so much I tried to look for the shop they came from, but it was no longer around.

So I was stuck still looking for the perfect eyes.. well last weekend I found a pair, and in my possesion I also had a nice short hair cut I found two weeks previous that I didn't even try on before I was fiddling around with my "Male Crow Skin" you see, I found a shop that allowed me to get the skin as an award for sitting 100 minutes in a chair... so under that time I purchased, remotely with the mouse look, a beautiful pair of eyes.

The end result was a difinitively clearer look, and although my own husband said, "it doesn't look like you" my son said it did.. but then again he corrects me too when I say "the lady", he corrects me with "thats you.."

Even though my avatar isn't awesomely beautiful, the goal was to compose it as an element of myself.. and project an element of my "self"..

Now tell me if this is FACT or Fiction because I just realized some people have a problem telling the difference and I'm the one acting all Autistic and stuff..

...............

The last time I talked to Humuculo he gave me a teleport to his location, the location was a photosphere.. they are supposed to be a great resource when using GREEN SCREEN (something I have the capacity and software for).. I walked around and took a look at the pose ball on one which was a flying carpet, the one in front of me and sat down.. Immediately Humuculo rested his head on my lap by using the other pose ball.. I was a little shocked.. but then it changed poses and it was a face to face one.. and I was thinking and saying "NoooOOOOOooo" as in that wasn't what I came here for.. NOW this is the Fictional part..

After looking into the hollowed out eye sockets of my little friend I immediately in my own defence, mind you, jabbed my little fingers deep into those caverns.. hoping to inflict what I could give for pain on a little dwarfly skull man.. and he backed off.. as I pushed him off the pose ball and onto the ground bellow.

Dusting himself off, he took this oportunity to put on a jaunty little barett.. and said in a funny accent.. "now I am a photographer.. now you will refer to me as master of the photosphere...." and I backed up a second and laughed to myself.. "ah, sure..." and wondered what this funny little man was going to do, or try to do next.

I did mention I liked DoctorMetropolis jacket... and would like to know where he got it if at all possible.. he tapped his cane.. (did I mention he had a cane.. a grand walking stick of strange size and shape with a bling diamond on top??) as he walked with a lame foot.. twisted about the wrong way from perhaps the push I gave him..

And then preceded to guide me to the other photosphere.. with on pose ball.. and said.. to me to push the arrows to change poses.. but it did seem AWEFULLY suspcious... but I thought, I can knock him down to the ground if he pulls anything again.. since I did secure a machine gun, which I hear I may need in the future, being a woman and all.

But the poses were not so bad, but I had to wonder, why this day, why now, what is going on.. and I thought it was NOTHING.. but little did I know he was trying out X ray eyes!!!!! That bastard!!!! What Nerve!!!

So all the while he was taking photos, he was having a little peep show!

When Space and Django came to my rescue.. he took off the barret and brought DoctorMetropolis over to have an agruement, all in front of me.. but after that, he gave me something to kill me and deleted all records of ever knowing me..but I survived the poison long enough to take this notation down.. that maybe it may be too late for me.. but not for SarryCrey.. look out babe.. look out!!!!

ah but I suvived...

It takes me too long to concentrait on the techincal matters, and my learning style, although I learn fast, I need quiet for me to concentrait, after all I am an elite craftsperson..and can use NON virtual tools such as kilns, acetylene-air soldering with silver and other precious metals, and most fun, molten glass..where even an expert can lose up to 50% of the work due to a number of things which naturally go wrong. But now in the isolation of an environment were even painting is a chore, what am I to do with my mind?

Answer - learn new things and explore new possiblities, otherwise I would be like a bird thrashing its wings against the bars of a cage of circumstances.. you either stop thrashing or die or possibly find another way to express flight..

So here we all are expressing aspects of our personalities, and some of us even need not only more than one main avatar (which is quite normal, as is "dress up") but even more than one account to express whats inside.

The one with the snakeskin background is by him... the one with my newbie look is in the wastlands with Django..and I'm wearing a pair of bat wings.

(note that I did edit this, but still not enough)

Kinky castles and flying zombies..

From what Django tells me and from what I have seen, all SL castles are kinky.. the way it works I guess. The other night/day I was hanging with Vidd and there was a crazy castle with crazy stuff in there.. bath stuff and fountains and weirdo posing balls..

I think they were mostly kinky if you picked the female one.. so I just picked the male one when I sat down on the chairs and sofas and stuff to test out what was going on there.

Vidd is funny and will aways try out these things.. where as... I can read.. I don't want to see it. But that night I was getting so logged out and bounced and booted and what ever.. it just didn't like me. So I eventually had to give up and then some people showed up in the castle anyway.. so it was time to leave.

Now one of our friends who lived in the area bought some land... she got two lots, for a reasonable SL price, one to keep and one to rent.. and near that area there was a strange little place.. an island attached to another island by a bridge that was not off limits to visiters. There was a grave stone and these dummy things to practice targets on-- and if you touch the grave.. a zombie would come out and go after you.. it was scary! I thought to myself within the grasp of the zombie.. I hope they don't fly... and started to fly.

As soon as I did sooner said than done.. guess what was following me... a freaky flying death zombie.. well I didn't know that the touch of the undead wasn't dangerous but I wasn't going to find out the hard way.. so it was time to run away and investigate the castle in the fog...

I only explored two rooms.. the living room had a bar, you know that was a little odd, but a BED? A fire place with rug.. the naughty kind, a piano with nothing fishy...

a sofa, which wasn't fishy and then finally a kitchen with dishwasher, but still you had a dishwashing at the sink pose which only told me how perverted the owner was.. .. making people wash dishes when they have a dish washer!! The nerve!!

The kitchen would have been cool with the exception of one thing... the cabinet doors were exactly the same as mine IRL and mine are like 20 years old.. (anyone who wants them please.. ask me and just come over and take them away...in Sweden, but hey they are free with the removal, I think they will clean up easily and stain with a nicer colour than the one I have which strangely enough was also the same as the castle's colour!!!)

Yesterday I earned my lindens by going to this place to paint a picture.. but the pay wasn't AS good as the one that I go to which is just one lone place to lay on the beach.. it was 5 every 30 minutes in an area which sold really wild stuff.. photorealistic sexy skins and the odd body part and other very very non-pg stuff, but it is hardly as difficult as getting my head around the fake doctor incident that Django and Space reported to me..

The advert there about it is practically child pornography..a "real" doctor who belongs to the "Association of Fake Doctors".. and they would like to lead you to believe you are getting a real doctor, a woman, but instead it happens to be a man... posing as an Asian woman, and the interests shown on the profile makes me feel, if this were an real doctor, I would have the licence revoked... but this is cartoon stuff right? Some people don't see the need to regulate such behaviours.. but when it comes to using people, which this doctor does, by not only charging 500 linden for 20 minute examination but preying upon young people..its illegal on all ends.

I think other people who were there can describe the situation much better than I can, because I wasn't there, but I read the advert, and then finally the profile of the person it was clear to me, there are a few violent peversions being expressed in his time in SL.. seriously, even still I would report the advert as a clearly child porn.

Did I though? Not yet.. I don't want to have to get too close to report anything like that.. probably owns a castle as well as a "doctor's office".

As far as castles go, I really don't know what attracts people to want to build one just to use it as a porno toy, but hey, different things... but if it were so different, why so many pick out the same crap? It goes beyond me.. but then again it always does.

As far as zombie slaughter, we had a fun time doing that!!! Django says to me.. I want to take some photos of you getting the zombie... and I was like "no but maybe if I had a gun or something... " but then I tried out some weaponry.. and I totally suck!!! I can't believe I couldn't even swing a club or shoot a machine gun.. so I relyed upon my insanity to slaughter zombies.. sometimes more than one coming out of the grave at one time.

I tried the mouse look, but that crap wasn't working and from my view, I was just getting the evil eye from those nasty old zombie stares... I was hoping that my club was smacking them but I ended up sitting on the zombie head and then the zombie goes flying up... trying to get me but they can't cos I'm on its head!!

Same time more zombies are coming after me.. Django is laughing his arse off so hard he nearly falls out of his chair in real life and Space has to come down to see if he's ok and then she sees the zombie slaughter (most likley I suck and they are slaughtering me!!) and then to make matters worse, the club makes me walk like a caveman.. and I'm wearing a Star Trek uniform.. while trying to smack zombies... with their heads up my arse!! Its uncomforable at best.. and yes I too was laughing!!!

so to defete the zombies one needs a smile.. and a can of zombie repelent (and maybe a tooth brush too, well it couldn't hurt) and a huge club for head wacking.... but Django and Space had it down.. they had their machine guns out!! Zomies coming out in groups larger than 4 when I last looked.. but it was time to stop all the slaughter.. and bid everyone a good night/(day in my case).

If only I could slaughter SL scum as easily as those zombies.. well, first things first, you have to be armed and you have to know what you are doing.. and experience always counts.

Did I mention the fish camp?

Ah that was another story.. and the "Dancing With Humuculo" was cute..

I've got other stories to tell and other things to write down, but I'm not ever sure about how much or who wants to hear.. and of course the real danger of writing anything is the fine line between good writing and overshare.. as a friend told me long ago, and I try to keep myself far on the more positive side of that line, foolish as I am.

Blackmail in red envelopes.. and slow dancing with Humuculo

It was St. Valentine's day for me.. or was it for them? I can't recall that small detail and yet there was a vague rememberance of dancing involved... damnit that little skelleton headed dwarf, Humuculo must have slipped something in my drink... I recall arriving there in the day time..and watching Space and Django dancing a slow dance.. and Metropolis and Humuculo were there dancing Salsa.. and suddenly it went dark..

Its weird and such because I damned well came there in the daytime but the sugestion to turn off the sun was taken..to see the stars, moon and planets much better.. and we were dancing on of all things lilly pads.. and suddenly I was dancing the Salsa with Humuculo.... things were spinning.. I felt giddy.. I don't know what happened but sugested a slow dance.. WELL I didn't know what was to happen NEXT!!

It must have been that spacey music or something that Munky slipped in my drink.. but then we were slow dancing face to skull.. the details went black with my face lamp.. I woke up the next day... and someone said they had photos to prove it.. but my friend Humuculo blackmailed me... but not directly.

I think it was like the last time we danced.. but we danced the tango.. he seemed taller.. and he said to me the most romantic thing "your feet don't smell.." ah how I did swoon.. even after all those tricks they played on me.. that Humuculo and our good good friend, Doctor Metropolis.

Well well, the blackmailers changed their toons.. and deleted the pictures with a few bribes...but I wanted to see what happened.. so I could at least remember it for a moment.. but since being drugged on that day, its only been a dizzy spinny blurr of dance and ambiance music... and falling down drunk into the water only to disappear to another place.. the space of dreams and of black outs.

What have you done to me Humuculo? Was it the pair of you who conspired against me, poor innocent me?.. ah possibly not.. I was just blamed for choosing the dance.

I must remember NOT to look into the eyes which can never look back.. for they are only out to steal your soul... and your heart.

"Oily Fish n' Silk" by request

Where do I begin? I think I want to talk about the enjoyment of the perpective of people even if they are often just on the edge of being offensive to some..

I take in point the time Doctor Metropolis brought up the film with Tom Cruise in it "Legend" damnit going to have to link this one up..

I mentioned my "twin" Thomas who was crazy about that dress..how he went on and on about the black dress in hell.. ect.. and Doctor Metropolis said of course.. they did the lighting to make it beautiful, it was a flimsy thing that would probably fall apart if anyone wore it and he added it probably didn't look so great in the daylight.. and it isn't like I myself DON'T think those things... but he actually said it.

He'd be like the perfect person to read bedtime stories to kids to reveil the darker side of the symbols in them..since I do that kind of thing all the time to myself.. I just wanted to say I really enjoyed that unveiling of the reality, it was a gentle reminder of what I say to other people all the time.. maybe not in so well phrased sentences.

We got there on the topic of unicorns.. because Legend was about the devil (played by Tim Curry, no less) wanting to kill the last of the unicorns.. and because I was lured into Second Life by way of unicorn. Its not like I didn't get what I wanted either.. all was truth in advertising, absolutely.

Life was to change.. but for many people life changes in a different way.. Nash for example, he shuns his friends, (and bans them from his house for just simply rezzing stuff) People shoot at us, and he's pretending he don't know us.. and then finally he made his friends who he's known for years IRL wait 20 minutes while a bimbo gets dressed.. (well if that was "dressed" I hate to see what undressed was!!!!)

She was all shiny and oily.. and half naked..no mostly naked.. someone said.. that is an interesting bathing suit you have there.. and she said it was her silks. This skin she was wearing was shiny to look like she was oily. Nash only knew her for about a day...but he knew his other friends there many years longer.

I guess after all that.. and the fact it was causing a bit of tension.. I finally, before we left changed my avatar into "Nash bait".. red hair, light green eyed, long legged hot chick in skimpy outfit and high heels. It did make a point but what point I didn't know.. because it was just probably the shock value I was into... because he was all "Alter what did you do to yourself??!!"

I was trying to make a point that my cartoon was easily changable.. just as anyhone else's.. Ask Humuculo, if a man can be a little skull running about in SL what else can't one do? ..and it was Nash who seems very suspicious and saying "Dude" to Sylvie..when I wouldn't be surprised if Oily Fish n' Silk chick turned out to be a boy..I mean unless he KNOWS, how can he know?

I really apreciate that other people have commented about my writing style.. I've been writing lately mostly for myself, but earlier I was a pretty random blogger before I ditched all that writing because it all got too personal and too complex, and in my personal life, there was no room for that, so when people actually say its OK about me writing about what happened from my perspective, I started doing this.

If you are reading this.. maybe in the next few days or in the next year... or years, (WHO knows?) you are one of the elite, my previous Live Journal blogg, (deleted October 2006) was read by, at least on a random basis by Momus and Pete Shelley.. who were very kind to encourage me, it was also read by my friends who deleted their accounts at Myspace (the summer of Myspacecide) and some who didn't delete.. some I have met many I have not met.. and all many who have touched my heart in only a few lines.

The creation of Astrosphinx.se was when I was experiementing with an idea of a travel blogg.. but never really took off with that.. but is now mostly converted to "life", "dreams" and synchronicity events.. but also its gotten to be more of an alterative to trying to understand the Argonautic from within, so many spectrums!.. there are so many things happening.. so much synchronicity.. just within our mear names and the places we go.. and what we read in almost any texts.

It can come down to a thought, a single thought, focused and pure.. or a word in the ear of the correct person will direct me to understanding the nature of how one person can start a chain reaction and change the world.

On the topic of the written word, electronic texts as opposed to texts on a page.. it would have been much harder to destroy it all in a fit of all or nothing type rage (you know, when someone says, you write well BUT remove this) and you say to yourself.. if I comprimise then I will continue to comprimise.. so if you love my writing so much...I said.. you will not say that OR you will suffer when I delete..

I have deleted my diaries before, but this was not digital, it was fire because I didn't want anyone to read what I suffered and that when I got my scholarship, I wanted to move on, far beyond the pains of growing up.

I am sorry I was that way.. as I never saved a scrap of those 2 years of Blogg . I wonder if I WAS any good? so poor little Sphinx... she had to move on..

and now she's AlterEgoTrip, and AstroSphinx all at once.

I think its kind of cool when on the other blogg people call me "Astro" sounds kind of Spacy :D.

Anyway speaking of Space.. and Django... Happy Aniversery!! 11 years! Congrads *clap clap*

My beautiful lady...

This is my version of the CSI Miami lady..only problem is that the skin will not allow for definition.. so her skin has no wrinkles.. not that those would be visible but that even MY avatar has wrinkles.. due to the fact all faces have them..

She's standing in front of a cut out of Rose Tyler the Assistant to Doctor Who..

Now I could have googled up her image to have something to work with, but I worked exclusively by what impressions were in my mind of what she looks like since I'm trying to train my mind to retain detail and to extract it easier as well.

If the browser didn't crash evertime I tried to make a new avatar, I think I'd have allot more interesting ones.. I have lots and lots of matterial to work with.. I've got lots of plans but once again... too little time.. time to sleep.. goodnight :D

I hardly remember the bad stuff...

Lets set Doctor Metropolis on fire? or is it Burn the Witch? Django and Doc have been naughty.. trying to play jokes on me.. when they know I don't wanna see no naked people!!! Not unless I have to draw them or make clothes for them..:P

Ah but you were funny anyway.. just please I have a comfort zone.. I'm trying to stay long inside of it!

===================================

I dreamt last night I was looking around my home.. in place like my home but then again like SL... but real, and there was a lake and a very beautiful landscape and there were animals in cages.. and they had been transformed into savage beasts... and I was being interviewed for something.. something illness related and job related all at once, and then I went to see these animals while I wasn't busy.. and saw they were all kind of weird and wild.. and so.. I let them out.. and let them run wild and thought, it was best for everyone.

And then I was inside my house.. and then walked outside.. in front.. but unlike my house, this had a clear placid looking lake as a neighbour.. and the air was foggy and dim.. but not dawn.. just not completely night, and when I looked up there was a UFO.. and it was directly above me hiding in the cloud and I said.. "Hey.. you lot are not supposed to be here.. !!" And they left.. fast as the light.. until they flew away and looked like a distant star..

And I thought to myself.. boy that was close.. I hate it when THAT happens..(I related to someone that I think the reason I did that was because I didn't want to show any fear.. because once you show fear.. THEY get you..)

It was a dream point to make about watching videos on the topic that Doctor Metropolis put up.. and that was.. maybe the strength someone has at times is to stand up and face those who are threatening you.. I suppose.

If people are going to read this.. I better use spell check.. NOT

A few days ago Vidd.. (see photo) won a new helmet, but in order to wear it he had to edit it and shrink his head..




It was the day we went to the anonymous blank robot factory, the factory that turns you into anonymous blank robots.. (no photos shown).

It was kind of funny..especially when I went through the process and it didn't work, and tried it again and CRASHED.. when I tried to logg back in, I was suddenly a green robot in need of upgrades.




I was thinking about how some of the vitual things here.. because the real rules of the physics don't apply, you could make things very much like Doctor Who to a point.. I mean there is a Tartis you can buy to teleport you randomly to places in SL.. but there are a few other things that may need to push the edge a bit.. like actual time/digital time itself.. there are posiblities.. but its only like testing a theory... rather than actually doing something.




I wish I had the Tango with Humuculo story.. but sadly it did not save.. that would have been a funny read if anything!






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The most irritating SL newbie Sylvie Stoop..came to my house. First thing she did was take over my house.. and said we were roomates!!



My first impulse was.. Ok, fine, but that sofa is my sofa..I guess there is a need in me, if there is something which could be a problem.. like most people, I walk away.. but she didn't let me walk away.


So I tried so hard to help.. really hard.. and I thought "geeze, you can't really be seriously in need of help THIS much".. and then during that moment I thought, "man someone is taking the piss" even asked her.. do you know the expression "taking the piss?" ah but she distracted me with lets be friends.. I'm so lonely after acting the super straight stand up person for the "take a pee" comment.. with I take a pee all the time..(LOL)..

I gave her a few cards she kept declining trying very hard to help her.. you know get started, I figured if she got some headway, she could start calming down.. eventually she got pissed off at me.. after all these cards and me trying to give her a dress.. she was like.. I want you to be my friend.. and I'm like.. here is a dress.. isn't that nice enough? She muted me..and said I was mean.


but then came back to show the truth...I wasn't going to be her friend if all she needed was constent baby sitting.. you see.. but I guess I didn't want her to be hanging out in the wind. It turned out Sylvie.. was a trickster.. and it was someone (a friend) taking the piss..





We had to reinforce Sylvie as a stranger to Humuculo.. I can't believe I did that.. because when I'm lying it hurts... and I had to take all the things I knew were true and just forget the ending to lie about it.. so the truth was Sylvie couldn't hear me because I was muted.. so I was feeding Humucolo the questions I would ask her, I think the weakest link was the question about where she was from because that was a dead giveaway.




I guess I would make a good lier about this kind of basic character stuff because if Sylvie was going to act a little man crazy.. for Humuculo I think she should have been Brazilan, Venusalian, Colombian, Japanese, Russian, Philipino, Thai, possibly Romanian, Hungarian, or even from Hong Kong..definately not from Pakistan.. maybe.. a very slim chance of her being from India.. practicing her English skills..




I think it was blown when Sylvie was from Pakistan.. beep..


But so we tried a sexy Sylvie on Nash..

and Nash was looking well so far, I mean his hair was very much his style.. still, I have to wonder if he would ever wear that bling in real life!



Anway so while we were chatting up Nash.. Sexy Sylvie walks up with a sob story about losing her old account and money and buisness in SL.



But anyway.. it turned out funny in the end..I didn't understand the asking Nash that question in the end.. it was a funny quesion about peas and boxes.. I am still clueless.




And so.. when I got to SL today.. guess who was out hanging about.. Sylvie, Humuculo was trying to pimp her out or something to this guy.. I though oh no.. But it turned out they were trying to get this guy to become an employee.. just to mess with him in a weird sort of way..

It was actually kind of funny in the end.. and we all squapped.. so it was a happy ending.



After all squapping makes you happy. And it does..:)

Earning Lindens by Palentology Questions??? WTF???

Today has been a real adventure in SL, more than any other time because it was really DIFFERENT!

First off.. I got there in morning my time long after the party at Drama Libre was going on. and didn't really have a brilliant time.. I mean it was quite ok but the MUSIC, well it wasn't my cup of tea.

We spent allot of time getting ready.. or at least I know I did.. I know the other members of my party really spent allot of time on their costumes and used things that they made, found, won, edited...They were wonderful too!!

So anyway after getting dressed for the Venice Carnival themed party, we went there and I was sadly shocked about the lack of musical value of the entertainment..they were playing "Guns and Roses".. so although I was dancing I had to turn the sound off..I was interupted by my family time and needed to make breakfast... and finally after everyone was done, I went back and they were playing Placebo, which is naturally miles better, but still it boarders upon my tolarance of pop music.. maybe had it been a completely different song..?

Ah never mind..whatshername that Avril girl.. that really suck.. "Hey Hey.. I could be your girlfriend..." as if she was even "better" than Britney Speers.. I think perfectly equal.. just wait a few years.. and I'm like.. "must be calm, must not leave just because of my intolerance... my prejudices... "

So upon talking and finally leaving..we all decided we had other things to do.. and now.. its not the hosts of the party for it being this way.. they were very kind hosts and have next weeks theme as being "Space Truckstop".. so you know we will be back.. definately back, as the music must be better than this last time and I found out later it wasn't the normal DJ who is there with the group's parties.

Well we tried to go to Pocky Land, but it was all LAG LAG LAG, so then we ended up on a real replica of an ocean liner called "Galaxy".. after we got to the ghostly and barely inhabited ship.. we were playing around and then Vidd showed up.. which was nice.. when the other members of the party left, eventually Vidd and I got the chance to talk.

When Vidd left I explored the ship and finally got a chance to talk to the owner who told me a few details about what the simulation was.. and what it was based upon and such.. which was rather impressive.. I did get information earlier.. I mean they have bookings for "virtual banquets" and "virtual weddings".. but I find that kind of stuff about SL odd.. and when I explored the shops and found stuff there people could buy.. for "THOSE" kind of parties.. its kind of weird too.

I got a few free things from the shop and then actually followed the link to another shop.. the main shop of Mantahari's or what ever it was called. I was expecting a costume like Mantahari.. which would have been cool but it was something else.. I have yet to try it on, but with it came a gift certificate of 100 lindens off the price of an outfit, this was from the ship, then when I was walking out (and they had a lucky chair giveaway there BTW)... I got a message from Jade's Jazz Island...

Now Jade's Jazz Island is where we went to Squap and they were so nice to us.. it was bizzare... in fact they are super nice, seductively nice in fact! I followed the message attachment and it teleported me to the middle of the island.. (which incidently I teleported away in front of that Mantahari's shop only to be teleported to a place with a shop of the same name in the distance..close by)..

Ok so finally I found the dance place.. I forgot the name.. but I was just deciding to dance there.. stepped up to the ball and instantly won 5 lindens. (forget about camping now!!!) Then I started dancing and they had a trivia quiz going on.. it was on the topic of dinosaurs and palenteology.. which was weird.. because I got like 3 questions correct when I finally did try.. I walked out of Jade's 40 lindens up and yet that wasn't just it..

I danced with a strange young guy who was only there in SL for one day so far and he managed to get to this place.. it was wild.. he was smart and sharp witted and from the Newcastle area of the UK. At the same time I was dancing around chatting with the young man there, I was chatting with Vidd who had come back on line to find stuff..

So eventually when the young guy went to leave..I teleported over to Vidd to the empty strip club to see him pole dance.. fully dressed but still it was really cool..

when I got back from making waffles.. (in real life) I came back to my region and it gave me a warning that they were shutting down and that if I didn't want to get logged out, I had to leave the area for the next 30 minutes. At least they gave me a warning..and then I went to the Gnubie shop at Indigo.. and spent my little extra new money wisely.. on a hair that I needed if I was going to make the portrait of the CSI Miami character who is the correner.. the lovely black lady.. with mysterious eyes and the thin figure..I don't even remember what her name is on that series.

So there it is.. a kind of fun day.. I forgot to mention how many freakn times I crashed and rebooted either.. but we will let it slide.. as always.