How is that for a protest? No but seriously, I guess I can see the idea of what people know about me and my attempts to try to use different systems to deal with lacking of things..
I mean its often as if money is some magical thing, it makes all problems go away, doors open and leaves the rent paid and the heat and telephone on for yet another month. I've not got problems with that aspect, but why does this end up being the end goal when I'm supposed to be happy? Tell me how this differs from a Soviet styled Golag when we are working ourselves silly trying to be happy and can't even buy back the time that is supposed to be our collective "God Given Rights" as supposedly free people.
When is my time my own if I am a part of a system that encourages me to undersell my own potential to be gainfully employed? I do not want to go around sueing people to get what I need either.. sometime I wonder, some people have often said that they owe me.. well if they owed me so much then damnit, pay me the fuck back! But then or should I just pass it on to the other person who says I owe them.. or perhaps person A should in turn meet once again with person B. They can talk about me behind my back and leave me out of it.. and have a wonderful time.
Ah this Mercury retrograde, killing me, with the Equanox coming in a few days and tomorrow being the new moon at about 10 pm or so, I have to hurry up and make my plans for starting my longer fast, it seems I didn't get rid of the stuff I needed to get rid of.. so I have to restart. If it takes less time then it will be less time, but I know now, that I needed more than 10 days, and I may have needed 20 days to clear up my skin, because it was totally clear after the 6th day, however now its back, its like I can't win..
Its not allergies either.. its down to this bacteria that I don't even know about, that maybe everyone has, but it just causes problems for me and maybe other people.. so all the antibiotic treatments, did nothing but sedate it for a few weeks.. then the same thing again, but it is true that I could have been on 40 days antibiotics and still get the same effect of 10 days of fast without the problems of the antibiotics such as the intestinal distress and the nausia not to mention other side effect such as the impartial forming of blood cells producing anemia.. nice one to leave alone.. and then extreme sun senstivity.. yeah. This year, antibiotics free, prize, I didn't have problems with the sun, and even though I sunburned it only recently pealed off.. not bad, I was commended by the mother in law for the "healthy look" :P Two edged sword pharmaciticals, another problem is and how it relates to Second life is that so many people are "virtually ill"
I don't wish to point out everyone as some kind of victim in a larger scheme of things but when mentioned about not trusting in big Pharma, the ideas underlying that are not "the Americans pay through the nose so you don't" when if a drug is approved here, it goes through a completely different system of judgement but it still notices what they do in America. Another thing is, in America doctors can deal directly and get sold directly for ever prescription they write and pharmacological companies not only pay for adverts in magazines read by doctors, but also meet up with them to show them their new drugs. There are sales representitives from these companies that my country will not see because this is not the way they approve a drug for usage where as, it seems that the American market pretty much makes a drug sells it to the doctors and possibly markets to the patients.. with "Ask your doctor is bla bla bla is right for you?"..
I not see my need for any pharmasutical become based upon the demand of other people for a fictional illness that someone else may claim I have.
Now days I see that they have come back to the idea that some things are not psychosymatic illness such as ME. There are actually treatments for it, and it is drugs and missusage of antibiotics which seems to be the common thread and yet when I looked up ME, in English on a US based site, I read something about depression and antidepressents.
Its like this foolishness of treating stomach ulcers with pain killers and librium and some antacids and avoid spicy foods.. Now you know it is caused by a nasty little bacteria, one thing that can kill it is enzimes in unpasterised honey.. of all things. which is kind of weird and cool, but mostly its treated with a series of antibiotics which is much better than having someone saying, its all in your head, you are not sick you just need antidepressants.
Sad thing was, when they start treating a girl with TB using antidepressants, that is depressing, makes me want to swallow a whole bottle of anything that makes me ignore the stupidity of some doctors. Its like if you see all illness as infection or as depression, thats what you will experience. I'm going to have to make a few leaps of faith in the coming weeks as I have just recently done. I know that there are probably lots of people who have the ablity to cure themselves but medicines are just holding them back, sort of like crutchs on a perfectly able to walk person, if you are left in crutches when you can walk, it impairs your ablity to walk, and deforms you.
I am sick of life giving people the only thing money can't buy, as JCC said, "poverty" poverty of lack of health and poverty of believing you are poor because you don't have money, thus some people need to get over their addiction.. perhaps myself, having come to the point where now I am buying stuff again.. yes I do buy stuff. But I spent a whole 8 months as a non-consumer nothing new, not nessisary either.. nothing unless it was nessisary unless it was food or something for my son, where as this is how things work, nothing for me save for the proper parisables.
I have to go to the health food shop, perhaps have a look for my son's "shitake mushroom pate" he loves that on his breakfast toast.. maybe some milk thistle extract and some kind of tea ect.. toothpaste without strong taste, not just for me but for my son. ect.. bla bla bla.. I say I'm going out, but my plans get rewritten on a daily basis. Today I wasn't even told by the school what time my son was going to be home. I had to wait and then he wanted to watch youtube videos with washing machines..
I really enjoyed this one:
We were both laughing our arses off..It was a good thing.
Must sleep got to go shopping with my son and mother in law at 10am.. tomorrow.. but at least they gave me the night off. :D
4 hours ago